Reply To: “I know I Should Leave Him But…”

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January 20, 2024 at 7:37 pm #1127790

You wrote over 1500 words about what a terrible boyfriend he is. And they are all legitimate. He sounds like a terrible boyfriend. What is the hesitation?

Going forward, you need to have dealbreaker red flags and then act on them when they come up. Here’s some suggestions:

– Doesn’t want you travel without him
– Cheats and lies to you
– Makes you feel bad about yourself
– Belittles your passions
– Makes you feel like you’re “not empowering women”
– Makes fun of your lack of friends
– Doesn’t empower you to make other friends

These are all dealbreakers on their own, and yet you’ve tolerated every single one.

It sounds like to me you’re socially isolated, which his actions have certainly affected, but it sounds like you struggle socially without him. This is where your focus should be once you get the nerve to ditch this dork. It’s important to have reliable friends outside of your significant other. I think you’re afraid that this guy has some sort of power social capital (“…I would never make it as a tattoo artist without him because I don’t know anyone & he would bring me all of my clients.”), but guys who talk like this have casual acquaintances at best and lame friends. If you’ll break up, I’m willing to be you’ll get a lot of “I liked you better anyways”.

A money focused construction worker who is a part time DJ ain’t all that.