Reply To: “My Long Distance Boyfriend Demands I Tell Him Every Time I Leave The House”

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LisforLeslie
January 26, 2024 at 2:25 pm #1127871

I find his behavior highly objectionable. It’s very controlling and I think you’re setting yourself up for absolute misery if you allow this to continue. I understand that he wants to know you’re OK, but demanding to know where you are and who you are with is not how adults treat one another.

I suspect, and I could be wrong, that you are modifying your own behaviors so that you don’t “make” him feel jealous? That if a coworker asked to grab some lunch and talk about work stuff, you’d either avoid that lunch or make sure a bunch of other people were there, even if you felt perfectly comfortable having lunch with this person alone, would you modify your behavior so that your boyfriend wouldn’t get upset?

And how does he know that you’re out and about without telling him – is he tracking your or do you have one another on some find my friends crap? That’s just invasive. I understand that some people share it for their own protection – if I can’t reach you for a while, I can find you on your phone – but this sounds like unhinged monitoring.

Honestly, if someone else was telling you this is how their partner behaved, what would you tell them? Would you tell them to acquiesce to unreasonable demands or do you think maybe, this is unreasonable?