Home / Forums / Advice & Chat / “My Long Distance Boyfriend Demands I Tell Him Every Time I Leave The House” / Reply To: “My Long Distance Boyfriend Demands I Tell Him Every Time I Leave The House”
My god what a dramatic and guilt trip-y text just because you didn’t provide every last detail before going out before you walked out the door. Everyone else is spot on. This isn’t healthy. He’s controlling and manipulative.
But mostly wanted to comment on this:
“I’m not really sure but I thought maybe something happened in his previous relationship that made him decide to make something like this to become very important in the relationship.”
I’ve had two boyfriends cheat on me. The second boyfriend to do so, I caught him online dating a year into our relationship. To date, I’ve never known how long he was on the dating sites while we were together or how many women he messaged, took out on dates, slept with, etc. I only know that I caught on one day, we broke up, and he’s now married to the woman I caught him with. It was absolutely devastating at the time and I was not okay for awhile after. I definitely had some lingering issues (mine were not trust related) that I noticed popping up when I got back onto the dating scene. I got into therapy. I did not take it out on the people I was dating. Men are just as responsible for taking accountability for their own behavior as women. If a past relationship fucked him up a bit, I feel for him and sure, maybe it gives context to the behavior. It does not justify his behavior. You say you know you’re not responsible for his insecurities, but you’re still acting like you are. I promise, there is better out there for you.
ETA: Also, to @Kate’s point about the least trusting men often being the least trustworthy… the first boyfriend to cheat on me was like that. I swear, men tell on themselves early on all the time.
- This reply was modified 3 weeks, 4 days ago by Copa.