Reply To: “My Long Distance Boyfriend Demands I Tell Him Every Time I Leave The House”

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January 28, 2024 at 11:39 am #1127895

I think LW perceives being introverted as a flaw of some sort since there’s active worry that he’ll meet someone extroverted and better at talking. I agree therapy would be a good idea. There seems to be some low self-worth going into the decisions made around this relationship.

I went to dinner two Fridays ago with some girl friends. I told my bf that it was a girl’s night out and which restaurant we were going to. I didn’t share names. When I got home (or maybe the next morning, I can’t recall) he asked me how dinner was. He asked if it was “the whole group” and that’s when I was like, “Oh, no — X was out of town, Y tested positive for COVID, so it ended up being me, A, B, C, and A’s friend D.” He did not freak out. He did not accuse me of being untrustworthy or withholding information. He asked from a place of wanting to know about the night I’d had, not out of suspicion.

At the end of the day, though, someone who is going to be shady is going to be shady. The boyfriend I caught online dating? He had an entire lie planned around where he was one Saturday night — names, locations. He checked in with me throughout the night by text. He’d actually gone to a wedding with another woman and was not, in fact, with Jeff, which I learned because I happened to log into FB at just the right time to see the photos she’d uploaded on my Timeline. I’d trusted him completely, always had details of his alleged whereabouts, he always checked in even by text, my essentials were at his place. He was still shady. Your boyfriend does not trust you. That’s what matters to me here. It doesn’t matter if you’re not actually doing anything that warrants suspicion. If there’s no trust (after two years, no less) this isn’t going to work.

ETA: It also seems you do not trust him if you actively worry that he’s met someone more extroverted and have even asked him to just tell you if he has.

  • This reply was modified 1 month ago by Avatar photoCopa.
  • This reply was modified 1 month ago by Avatar photoCopa.