Reply To: “My Long Distance Boyfriend Demands I Tell Him Every Time I Leave The House”

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January 28, 2024 at 1:46 pm #1127902

My bf likes to golf in the summers as much as he can. He typically goes with his friends in the suburbs so if it’s an early tee time, he leaves early. They’ll usually grab a bite to eat together after, he’s often not home until like 4 p.m. I’ll usually text even after he’s gone if I end up doing something. He’ll usually send a pic from the golf course and that’s when I’ll be like, “Looks like a great day! I’m doing X.” And yes, we also have to communicate around the dog’s potty schedule, so maybe I’d ask when he thinks he’ll be home if I’m deciding if I can stay out or need to head home. Neither of us needs to know specific information about the other’s whereabouts just for the sake of knowing. Checking in is normal and I’m sure all couples have their groove. Monitoring is not. Knowing the names of who your partner is out with or the bar they’re at does not mean the difference between trusting or not. Visiting someone’s home does not make them trustworthy or preclude them from being shady.

Last March I went out to brunch with my girl friends and told my boyfriend I thought I’d be home by 2 or 3. Our server brought us free shots twice. It turned into an unplanned bar crawl. I finally came home drunk at like 8. I’m sure I texted a bit throughout the day. He probably did his own thing that day, I can’t remember. He wasn’t mad that I “lied” about the original plan. He made me a chicken nugget platter and LOLed as I told him about the younger bartender who told my friend that our group of champagne-drunk-at-4 p.m. 30-somethings reminded him of his mom.