Reply To: “My Long Distance Boyfriend Demands I Tell Him Every Time I Leave The House”

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KA
January 30, 2024 at 12:59 pm #1127935

Good for you for taking a step back. Also of COURSE he got extra sweet when you called him on something. It is called “love bombing.” Abusers and narcissists do this to catch their prey. No one just jumps into a controlling abusive relationship with someone. Instead abusers lure you in with fake futures (aka all the talk about a future where they feed you lines about exactly what you want) and love bombing. Then when hooked they start becoming more and more controlling and also start chipping away at your self esteem (no one will love you like I do, if you were not so stupid / ditsy / forgetful / dumb you would understand X or remember to do Y). They need you hooked on them and doubting yourself. When they then do something bad they follow it back up with love bombing. You always keep dreaming of the relationship being what it WAS or him being the person you know he is. What you don’t understand is the original relationship and version of him was a lie from the start.

Be very careful. There are literally billions of guys on this earth. You are in your 20s. Dating and relationships should be FUN not work. If it takes any work at the beginning, just move along.