Reply To: My best friends not coming to my 18th bday

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February 11, 2024 at 8:15 am #1128106

I had the same thought as Ron. Generally if you are always the one to initiate contact, message first, and people are turning down your invitations, it’s not a friendship or a relationship. It’s lacking a real connection, genuine affection, enjoyment and appreciation. I wondered if there may be something about young people’s friendships today that’s different from social norms 20 years ago, where they’re less likely to do things together in person. Do these people get together regularly? Do they go to each other’s birthday parties? If that’s a normal thing for them but they won’t go to yours, that’s something to think about. What are the typical things they do for birthdays, and are your plans different from what’s usual and maybe it’s something they don’t want to do? Or are you suggesting the same type of thing they would do for their birthdays? Do they invite you to theirs? I’m trying to better understand, like is there something about the birthday plans you’re trying to make that they’re just not into, or in general are they leaving you out of things? Given the reaction you’re getting so far, I wouldn’t try to push them more to celebrate your birthday, but I do think you can tell them your feelings are hurt and you’re disappointed. That said, I would start to look at how you can branch out and meet new people you might have a better connection with. These don’t seem, from an objective third party perspective, like close friends.