Uh. One time in my boyfriend’s family’s group chat, someone sent a reaction GIF from an SNL skit with a couple in a hot tub that has some caption alluding to what was going on beneath the water. The bf’s BIL decided to chime in that it was like me and my bf in a hot tub, which was out of context for whatever the conversation was about. I thought that was embarrassing. Like even if his mind went there, why did he have to comment on that in the family group chat? I ignored it. But it was still embarrassing and that was just a dumb group chat comment!
You should not have made that comment at breakfast. And, okay, I guess we all say stupid things sometimes, but when the boyfriend tried to laugh it off, you should’ve dropped it. But you didn’t — you essentially doubled down on calling him/them out. Are you really telling me that you wouldn’t feel uncomfortable if someone made comments like that about you and your husband while you are a guest in their home? (At 20, no less. In front of a parent.) You should’ve apologized for embarrassing them when the SIL texted you. You can still apologize.
Bio Dad’s New Girlfriend is gossipy… I’d be wary of her.
You can also spend less time with his family since you both seem to dislike them. Or you can hang back sometimes and let him socialize with his family of origin solo.