Reply To: I cannot tell if this is a green flag or the reddest flag ever.

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Kate
March 1, 2024 at 9:21 am #1128381

It’s wild to me that you’re saying you don’t want to be this guys therapist, when you’ve never had therapy yourself. And I don’t think I’ve ever heard you acknowledge that your father is abusive or even manipulative or even controlling.

Had you made the connection in your own mind that, hey, I am crushing on a guy who says he’s entitled and manipulative, and that’s probably because I was raised by a man who is entitled and manipulative and have never experienced any other kind of relationship with a man? You don’t have to answer, it’s just something to think about.

I’m also curious if this story isn’t even true, but you’re again using this forum to try to get an opinion that *your father* isn’t actually that bad. Like, let me frame it this way and see if people would say it’s a red flag? You’ve done that before, writing in from different POVs to try to get the answer you want. I kind of get it, like, maybe that’s how you’re attempting to process your trauma? You need to work with a professional and I can’t understand your resistance to that except that it seems likely you are still living at home with him and don’t feel safe unpacking stuff in therapy, or need to feel like it’s ok for you to still live there. Idk. I really hope you do get help working through this.