Reply To: My husband and mother slept together before we were together and lied to me.

Yes, that’s a major betrayal and I can understand wanting to leave. It’s not your only option though.

Also, don’t physically leave with the kids if you don’t have any place to go except back to your mother. You can ask your husband to leave. You could ask him to leave temporarily while you figure this out. During this time, you could insist on couples therapy and individual therapy for yourself and maybe set yourself a timeframe to decide what to do.

You could ask him to leave and start divorce proceedings. Before doing this though, you should consult with a lawyer. And I would say only move toward divorce if your marriage was already not working, you already wanted out before this lie came to light.

In any case I think you’re completely justified in telling him to leave.

But you have to think, has he been a loving husband and a good partner, good father? Do you love him? You might be able to get past this breach of trust. You’re going to need professional help though. Which, if you have access to it, you should get regardless because your mother really messed with you. You may need to cut ties with her. Maybe even move the hell away from that town.

You do have options.