Reply To: “How Should I Ask For a Paternity Test?”

I could understand her being offended if she and your late son were in a committed relationship at the time of his death (I’d still say you would want a paternity test for any kid born outside of a marriage in which your son isn’t alive to vouch for paternity). But under these circumstances it seems quite reasonable to get a test. I do agree with your therapist that there is a chance your son is the dad. I think your husband’s attitude is premature because you don’t want to be rude to this woman if there’s a chance she’s the mother of your grandchild. You (and she) need to clarify this as soon as possible so your husband starts treating her well (or she avoids him permanently if your son isn’t the father and you can decide if you want to remain in her life).

Is your son on the birth certificate? If he’s not available to sign, wouldn’t she need a paternity test to add him to the birth certificate and make him eligible for social security benefits?