Reply To: Don’t want to date a broke man

I’ll cut to the chase here, this date was a dud and you should move on and not continue contact. I think the reason you’re even debating over this is that you spent so much time communicating before meeting up, and took a trip to see him,that you feel invested.

There are a lot of red flags here. You met him a month ago, but he broke up with a live-in girlfriend last month. At the very least, he got on the apps immediately after the breakup, and hasn’t had time to process anything and isn’t ready to date yet.

Getting out his phone to check his bank account, talking about his budget, that’s not normal first date behavior. It indicates someone really cheap, or someone with no sense of appropriate social interactions, or both.

And telling you what his ex said about him too… that’s pretty clueless AND he’s telling you exactly what kind of guy he is and it’s not what you want. And since this isn’t going to work with the long distance, just tell him that and then move on. He’s already told you he can’t afford to visit.

It seems like you got very into him during that month you were talking, and it’s hard to acknowledge that you two actually are not a good fit. It’s always best to just meet right away if you hit it off after a bit of messaging.

I would set your app distance to something you’re willing to drive regularly. I also will say I don’t think it’s reasonable on your part to hope for gifts or gas money on a first date .

I think this is a bad fit or bad timing or both and you need to stop talking and move on.