Reply To: Don’t want to date a broke man

I think you should cut your losses. What others have said about his behavior is spot on. Not to mention, it sounds like he’s actively ghosting you after you asked him to reciprocate the effort of seeing one another! I got ghosted a bit when I was dong the online dating thing, I know it can hurt and that’s okay — it’s not a reflection on you, it’s a reflection on this guy being a dud. But now you can move on. He turned out to have some nice qualities, sure, but you’ve also listed some pretty major flaws and red flags that make him not the guy for you. Instead of internalizing how he made you feel as problems with you, focus on your nonnegotiable and why he isn’t a match for YOU.

Texting a lot leading up to a date can create a false sense of familiarity and intimacy. I agree that you ought to limit the messaging and texting before you meet someone, and meet them as soon as schedules allow. If you can’t meet them within a week or so, you don’t have to become pen pals in the interim. You can ask about prior relationships on early dates and suss out any red flags in the response (e.g., that he’s fresh out of something serious, calls an ex crazy, etc.). IMO you shouldn’t be getting into these topics via dating app or text message, but given what sounds like extensive back-and-forth over a month, I can see why you’d feel like it should’ve come up sooner.