Reply To: The one that got away?
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I don’t have a “one who got away” — not anyone I dated, not anyone I could’ve dated but didn’t. I can think of a couple men that I was friends with that maybe I’d have been interested in dating had circumstances been different (e.g., if we’d both been single at the same time, or both lived in the same city when we were both single, etc.). With my therapist, I’ve realized, with hindsight and introspection and obviously therapy, that from 28-30 I probably passed on some nice men who may have been good partners because I was unknowingly self-sabotaging in dating. I occasionally wonder what my life would’ve looked like if certain things had played out differently, though this is not specific to romantic choices. However, I don’t dwell on any of these things. They don’t often cross my mind and I have no big regrets or strong feelings around any of them.
I’m curious how often you think about this, LW. Maybe this is more a sign of something that is lacking in your own life or marriage than it is about this guy. If it’s disrupting your life or you want to explore it more, you could consider meeting with a therapist.