Reply To: My Partner Has A Habit Of Lying To Me

Everyone else has already given good advice, but I’ll add one thing. I would not label “not wanting to share their feelings with someone they’ve only dated for 3 months” as “lying.” I get the sense that you want your partner to open up to you far more than they are ready to and it’s making them really uncomfortable and they don’t know how to express that. This is such a young relationship and you do seem to be bulldozing your way into their life.

I was also bothered by, “When I call my partner out for being very clearly upset…” The way you phrase that makes it sound like being upset is some kind of bad behavior that needs “calling out.” If you treat it that way, it’s no wonder your partner doesn’t want to talk to you about it!

My (controlling) ex used to like to inform me of what I was feeling, too, and get mad at me when I didn’t agree with him, even though he was usually wrong. It was infuriating to me that he insisted that he knew MY feelings better than I do! It’s infantilizing.

I recommend you stop trying to mind-read your partner. You can ask them how they are feeling or if they are upset, but then take what they tell you at face value. If they are behaving in a way that upsets you — snapping at you or giving you the silent treatment or whatever — then call them out on THAT. But not on what you believe them to be feeling.