Reply To: Am I being too pushy on dates? I could use some advice.

I stumbled into this and ended up reading the whole thing, woah.
I’ll agree with all the feedback… I’ll add a new point: Jeff is fixated on that maybe asking twice for sex on the first date could be seen as pushy by women, but he’ll continue to have sex on first dates because he likes to have hookups. I’ll add more to it: it’s not about whether having sex on the first or any date is morally wrong or questionable. It’s that women in their thirties looking for a serious long-term relationship will see it as: “you can’t be bothered to hang out and get to know me on a personal level, to see if we click as people and could grow into something. You are so eager to just get sex, that you’re too impatient to wait for a date or multiple dates for that to happen. How come does this correlate to withstanding the relationship years down the line?”

It’s not about having to wait over the first date without getting a fuck. It’s a general attitude that implies you’re inpatient to (just) get laid (with anyone). If you really want to build a life together, it’s not a countdown about how many dates you should wait out. Sex and physical intimacy will naturally happen, sooner or later. Most people looking for hookups don’t want an exclusive relationship with you. Goes to both men and women, and women will interpret your behavior/intent this way.

So, Jeff, hold your horses and don’t beg for sex on the second date either. That will also be perceived as pushy and just impatient to get laid.

She perceived it as a drunken hookup. Maybe fun, but not an experience she wants to repeat with you. You were the one-night-stand that couldn’t get it up, the one she had too many drinks with to truly be okay with everything. An online date that led to sex, no true potential for more.