Reply To: Baby Shower Advice

Not to pile on, but I agree with the others that as a to-be parent, you need to start working on defining boundaries and employing mechanisms to deal with your mother. I know grey rocking is the typical but in this case I think you need to learn how to deflect and distract -honestly it’s going to help you when that kid is a toddler. So when your mom decided Sharon was on the guest list, you could have simply said yes and then continued to forget to provide her address or tell your mom that you heard she moved and you don’t have the address. Unless your mom hangs out with this woman (and it’s clear she doesn’t because then she could get this address) what does your mom care? She cares because you said “no” and no one says no to someone with NPD.

You’re going to need to figure out how to keep her at arm’s length and now is the time to start practicing techniques.