Reply To: “Do Her Mixed Signals Mean She Wants Me Back?”

To everyone that has responded thus far, I appreciate it, but I disagree with her mixed signals. “I don’t expect you to wait around, but I’m still in love with you” is mixed signals. I agree it is letting me down softly which is CONFUSING and unclear. Me asking for clarity is important, in my opinion. Saying things like “I’ve never felt as strongly about someone, and connected to someone, as I do you.” I can handle criticism by these responses, but everyone else I’ve talked to says that she is incredibly confusing. Did she truly love me, well obviously no if she doesn’t want to pursue something with me. For context, the biggest issue is that she wouldn’t mention basic things that I requested, in a calm way, to make me feel secure. Naivete on my end, possibly. She works as a new piercer at a tattoo studio and when I asked her, about two months into the relationship, what do the guys know about your relationship status (i.e., works with all men) and she comes back with “they don’t.” After further exploration in asking why, she said “I’m a private person.” I would leave it but return to it periodically because it made me really uncomfortable – I’m more of an anxious attachment, but really now more secure for the most part with basic level needs met. We were also LDR and this didn’t help and where communication needed to be better, but she continued to refuse to meet my needs and I would meet many of hers. So yes, I would get angry after she would shut down and not speak when asked direct questions…since I posted this there was one more reach out in requesting to respect my time. She responded but vague again. I then told her that this said all I need to know. I’m sure I looked possessive and needy, but this avoidant person drove that side out of me. She lacks communication, despite what people here say, and she is selfish in always putting her needs first. I also feel she has a fearful avoidant/dismissive avoidant attachment style with some covert narcissistic traits – went hot and cold pretty quickly. I went wrong in working too hard on “the relationship” and getting too upset and becoming unattractive in being needy. What still remains is she was unclear AF!