Reply To: “Do Her Mixed Signals Mean She Wants Me Back?”
Ok it’s time to just include her last real text, not including the brief one after 3 days:
“Yesterday had already had me on edge with everything going on with my house situation, and I think that’s why I had such a quick negative response. I was excited for your trip here, with everything going on at home it was hard to look forward because I feel like the drama with my sister and dad and myself is consuming me. I realize I should have called you Monday, it was a mistake and probably self sabatoging. I know I had promised better communication and that would have been the right thing to do. You were there for me for a lot and I wish I was better at being there for you, part of me doesn’t really know how to because I don’t know what to say a lot of the time, especially when things are out of my control. I see why my behavior made you uncomfortable and caused you to question me, that’s valid. I truly care for you and love you. It’s not disinterest, it did freak me out being so serious and having such strong feelings for you. I feel like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop at any moment. I felt really safe with you physically I never feared you would hurt me. Emotionally I think there were times I didn’t when we would get into arguments, and that caused me to put up some kind of wall that I didn’t really realize I was putting up. I also think I’ve had a lot of change happening in my life even before my dad’s stuff, and I feel like I was grasping at straws for something that didn’t have to change and that was us, and that wasn’t fair to you. I’ve never felt as strongly about someone and as connected to someone as I do you. And it does really suck that we aren’t at the same place to make our relationship work successfully, and I do take responsibility for almost all of it. I wanted it really badly and got really discouraged when I wasn’t doing enough because it really was all I could handle. I don’t expect you to wait around, but I’m still in love with you, and I really am still here for you. I always will be. And I hope that I’m able to work through a lot of my issues and maybe someday in the future things could be different.”
*You can say this is because she is scared of me, or that she isn’t ready and wants to work more on things that aren’t as serious as a relationship. She leaves it at a place where there is a lot of confusion. I get it now, but had to send because it seems I’m being attacked on here a lot in a variety of ways, when there is nuance to all of this.
