Reply To: “I’m Not Sure Where To Go From Here”

If you want a different outcome and stop having shitty relationships, you have to cut shitty men out when they show you who they are. You knew what he was like. Were you an affair partner? I ask because serial cheaters like this love to toss that back in their usually young and naive gfs face when she complains about his behavior. He kicked you out – like on the streets?? For how many days and you still care about him? There’s a reason older men with younger girls being a taboo is a taboo. It’s because they are creepy, sad men who have realized women their age will see their bs a mile away so they start dating younger. Don’t worry, I’m sure I sound like an asshole buy I sadly dated a 40 year old when I was 20. I’m finally 40 this year and I am so grossed out and disgusted by that. It’s not cool. At the time I and my geriatric bf joked about it, but I learned it was no joke, he was a child.

I am sorry for overstepping, but all of your post tells me that you have something in your past that you need to resolve. Something taught you that real love means accepting deep, deep pain hand in hand and that’s not true.

Get therapy. People are generally for better or worse, attracted to what they grew up with. If you had a stable home, you look sport that stability. If you had a chaotic home, you look for chaotic love. I know I did. If you grew up in dysfunction, or with an absent parent, you’re likely carrying some of that baggage into your relationships, when the rest of us see a sad sack of a man who can’t keep it in his pants long enough to sustain a relationship, you see an eligible bachelor. I’m not trying to be rude, I’m serious. Why you didn’t leave him at 4am when he picked up someone in your own car and bored them is unbelievable to me. That’s what I’m talking about. That’s relationship ending behavior, (and that’s why he did that.) Because he’s too immature to have been a Real grownup and broken up with you then. So he did it even more painfully later. He’s a trash dumpster of a man. You are a naive and hurt person who needs some therapy. But you’ll be okay. Just figure out why you like men who treat you like shit, let it really, really sink in in the way only therapy can, and you’ll be fine.

I’m sorry if this has been hard to read, but I see myself in your behavior. Good luck.

Stop dating men who disappoint you. When you wrote that line, he didn’t look at another woman for years- can you believe it- yeah, that’s the de facto behavior I expect when a man has landed an amazing woman. He shouldn’t ever be looking, and I better never see it.