As someone who literally just went through this – we had 1 shower and 1 couples shower. I’m kind of old school and I enjoyed celebrating with a shower, mostly to get those I love in one room together.
The bridal shower was back home and MH and I registered for small items that were upgrades to our current items. I also used a honeymoon fund. We got quite a few gifts at the shower (which most JUST got to me since we had to drive them back and are still unopened). At the wedding we literally got 95% cash.
I say make a registry for the items you want to upgrade because there are people who are completely traditional and MUST give a gift. This will make sure it’s something you WANT and LIKE.
Example: I complained to my cousin about my aunt buying something not on the registry. It wasn’t anything I wanted or needed but my aunt insisted I NEEDED. I wrote a very nice thank you card and then she mocked me to my mother for my card. Same cousin I complained to also bought me something really dumb not on my registry that is currently just an annoyance. Moral of the story: people will sometimes go rogue even if you ask them not to, but you can control some of it by having a registry.
You know what got maxed out? Our honeymoon fund. That was the best gift all around.