Reply To: DW Community Catch-up Thread

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October 30, 2019 at 2:18 pm #856630

Ooh, congrats @copa and @hfantods!
I’m jumping in because I’ve been having this conversation with my boyfriend as well over the last few months too. (For background, we’ve been together almost 3 years at this point.) We do not live together, but I basically spend 6-7 nights a week at his house. He owns his house, about 20 minutes drive from my place. It’s a total fixer upper (was his grandmother’s house), and he is in the process of renovating with guidance from me. I don’t want to move in with him until the renovations are further along, I’m fine with the situation, and he is ok with it too. I still like having my own space (even if I’m hardly there) and he considers the house and the reno “ours.” It makes sense for me to move in to his house, as it’s a 4br house vs my renting a room with a roommate. And he does not want me to contribute to the mortgage or pay him “rent” and would rather I save my money to invest, possibly in a second house that would remain in my name, and in the meantime I would pay for most of the day to day expenses. In the event that we get married we would have a prenup where the house would stay his and in his name. He would rather I pay off my debt and save for something of my own, and in the event that we split up we would have our own places.
Fact is, we live in a really expensive COL area (SF), the house has been his/his family’s, and I frankly wouldn’t want to make him sell it to give me half. Its so hard to even find a place to buy, let alone afford, I just don’t want to do that. Frankly I’m not even in a huge rush to get married. First things first- finish the house, haha.