Shortcuts: “Does My Ex Want Me Back?”

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.

A man I dated was living with his girlfriend of ten years when he started pursuing me. He knew that I was in a bad marriage at the time and he kept persisting we be together. His girlfriend moved out. He promised me happiness, love, security, etc. and I believed him. Out of the blue one day, he told me he met with his ex-girlfriend and still had feelings for her. She moved back in with him. That was a year and a half ago. He recently called me when he was away from home one night at 11:30, saying he “Just wanted to see how I was doing.” What does this mean? Could he possibly miss me and want me back? — Ex, Not His Ex

Chances of him missing you: highly likely (especially alone, late at night, away from home and his girlfriend).

Chances of him wanting you back: Eh.

Chances of him ever leaving his girlfriend and/or committing to you: Highly unlikely.

I have a friend who, no matter what I am eating, ALWAYS asks for a bite. Just yesterday she asked for one of my five mozzarella sticks, one of my animal crackers (which I tried to explain to her I was saving for later) and one of my garlic knots at dinner. At this point it’s just annoying that I cannot eat food around her without her taking (what is sometimes a large) part of it. We live in the same sorority house and she could walk ten steps into the kitchen and get one of whatever it is I’m eating for herself for free. I just don’t know how to say no in a nice way and I’m really sick of having to give up food when I’m hungry. Am I being ridiculous, should I just get over this or is there something I could do to solve this? — Sick of the Food Mooch

Oh, for God’s sake, just tell her to you’re hungry and she should go to the kitchen and get her own. OR, for God’s sake, if she’s around and you know she’s going to ask for whatever it is you’re eating because she always does, grab MORE before your sit down. Instead of five mozzarella sticks, grab seven. Or do what I do with my toddler and make her her own little snack pack before you sit down to enjoy your own.

I’ve had this friend, “Jake,” for four years. He’s an older man, and our mutual friends think he likes me, although I have always made it clear I am not interested in him like that. I went up to the city to visit another friend, “Kevin,” and had an extra day so I suggested to Jake that we go out to dinner. Well, Kevin (a potential boyfriend) said he could meet up with us after he got off work and would take me back to his place where I was staying. Jake then proceeded to ignore me the whole week after finding out, and I haven’t heard from him since. It’s been about 2 weeks which is really unusual. I am really irritated at this point (two weeks, so far). Do I even bother trying to mend it? Or do I just MOA? — Friend Zone

MOA. This guy isn’t interested in being your friend; he’s been holding out in hopes of dating you (or just sleeping with you). P.S. Same with Kevin.


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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com.


  1. LW2 I laughed out loud at your letter. Just do what Wendy suggests, make her her own little snack pack before you sit down.
    If you don’t want to do that, imagine what you would have said to her when you were five years old, and then say that.

    1. SHE TOOK AN ANIMAL CRACKER THOUGH! That’s serious business

  2. Avatar photo GatorGirl says:

    Haha, “Could he possibly miss me and want me back?” no honey, it was a booty call. Don’t answer his calls any more.

    ANd LW2, grow some cojones and tell the mooch to get her own damn food. Jeez.

    I don’t have anything to do today and I’m stuck in the offffficeee boooooo.

  3. Avatar photo theattack says:

    I don’t know about LW2. I would absolutely not make a “snack pack” for my grown ass friend. She can handle getting her own snack. Clearly you two just have different ideas of how friends act with food. Her behavior is pretty normal for some people, so she probably doesn’t realize you have a problem with it. Next time she asks for your crackers, tell her that you’re saving them for later or that there are more in the kitchen she can have. That in itself is annoying enough when money for food is tight in college.

    LW3, Jake wants to date you, and he’s either feels jealous or just wants to give up on you since he perceives that you’re interested in other guys.

    LW1, MOA.

    1. Avatar photo GatorGirl says:

      I think Wendy was joking about the snack pack 🙂

      I have a grown ass man friend who does the “oh are you going to eat that” thing and it drives me BONKERS. He’s like a human garbage disposal!

      1. Avatar photo theattack says:

        Oh, haha. Clearly I didn’t catch that, and I was pretty shocked by her advice. It’s too early for jokes, Wendy!

    2. I think she was joking, but I actually kind of like that idea? If they’re friendly overall, I mean. I could absolutely see doing that for a friend (or a friend doing that for me). Like, “look what ~I~ got for you!!”

      She could also announce when she’s going into the kitchen? (“I’m heating up mozzarella sticks!! Do you want any? Speak now, or I’m only putting in 5!!”) Although I could see how that might get annoying as well. It’s really more of a close-quarters I-hate-you-sometimes thing, I think.

      1. Avatar photo GatorGirl says:

        I don’t know, saying “Hey, I’m getting crackers, should I grab you some?” gives her a very clear path to saying NO when friend asks to eat them. Or maybe LW should get all passive agressive on her and just start bringing a share of food for the mooch everytime. “Since you always eat mine, I brought you your ownnnnnnn crackers mwhahaha.” (but I guess that is the snack pak route. but it would be funny.)

      2. i feel like all of these behaviors are pretty typical for college anyway? right? at least it was for me- sharing food. sharing car rides to the store. sharing booze. sharing … everything, pretty much?

        i do agree that what she is doing is normal for different people.

      3. Avatar photo kmentothat says:

        In college, my roommates and I never shared food, unless one of us cooked and had extra and offered it around. But nobody ASKED or just took food.College is a tricky time for learning social norms of being in close quarters with people who aren’t your family. Let’s hope this chick doesn’t go to a work lunch at her first job and squeal with delight when her boss gets sliders and demand to have one.

        I’d check this girl. College kids are broke, and you don’t need to fund her snack time unless you want to. Just give an exasperated but laughing, “dude, I’m really hungry! Sorry.”Every. Single. Time.

      4. haha, good point about work. that would be so funny!

        she does say that they get their food for free though, so i dont think its a money thing.

        but i do agree- just say no every single time. she is like a puppy, you have to be consistent.

      5. Avatar photo MackenzieLee says:

        It was part a money thing and part an annoyance thing. She would ask for food whether is was free (from the sorority) or I had paid for it. At first I thought it might be a “she can’t afford it” thing so I felt bad and always shared. Then when I realized she did it with the “free” food I couldn’t take it. Plus I’m a poor college student too.

      6. random question: if you have free food available, why do you ever pay for food?

      7. Avatar photo MackenzieLee says:

        We don’t get food on the weekends

      8. A simple “no, go get your own” needs to be said. Repeatedly.

      9. Avatar photo GatorGirl says:

        Since they live in the sorority house, I’m guessing the food is free (aka prepaid for in their fees) so she can go help herself to the kitchen at anytime. At least that was the case in my experience with sororities.

        My roommate freshman year stool everything: food, toiletries, even my car one day. College sucks.

      10. She did say they’re living in the sorority house, which at most schools entails a meal plan that you pay to the house, in exchange for the house providing food. So its not like she’s paying per mozz stick, and more like mozz sticks were the snack provided on that day, and included in the same flat fee meal plan they both bought.

      11. Avatar photo theattack says:

        I think if they didn’t live together I would agree. I know in college I couldn’t afford to share my food often. Sure, if someone came over I would plan for it and feed them, but it can be pretty financially exhausting if you’re practically feeding two people on the regular.

      12. Well, they live in a sorority house togehter, which usually provide food to the people living there? So, I liken it to being in a dining hall, where the girl is just asking for things they she could have picked up in the kitchen herself.

      13. Ugh, can’t spell or do grammar.

      14. Avatar photo theattack says:

        Oh, is that how that works? I had no idea. If that’s the case, I agree with Fabelle and her suggestion (“I’m heating up mozzarella sticks!! Do you want any? Speak now, or I’m only putting in 5!!”)

      15. I think? I know I’ve been invited over to eat a hot lunch at a sorority house in which all the sisters just show up and get fed. And even if it’s not prepared for them, it sounds like the snacks are at least free.

      16. i had no idea either.. that is pretty cool. but, you do have to pay like huge dues and rent and stuff to live in a sorority house, right? so its probably a wash. lol

      17. Avatar photo theattack says:

        Very true. Except I don’t even know if it’s a wash. If you have a sorority sister whose stomach is basically a black hole, that might not be worth it. I think I prefer paying for just what I want to eat.

      18. well, a wash in the fact that you are paying inflated rent and/or dues or whatever, but nothing for food. so if you were to go get market rent, not pay dues, and pay for food/electric/cable/whatever, it might even out.

        and im sure its just a flat rate, so it doesnt matter how much anyone eats.

      19. Avatar photo theattack says:

        No, I knew what you meant. It’s just that your cost might be lower at home if you decide to eat Ramen and cereal sometimes than to eat full meals with everyone else. You don’t have room to save money where you feel like it if your meal depends on everyone else too, even if it is a flat rate upfront.

      20. At my school sorority room and board was exactly the same as it was to live in college housing, so not really. Fraternity varied more; some fraternities paid the same, some paid more, some paid a lot less.

        (I also went to school in a place where off campus housing is limited, so while some people live off campus senior year, its not a huge percentage of the student body)

        I didn’t go to a school where you at meals at the house, though my friends at schools that do that didn’t pay that much more than the campus meal plan. Relatively small sample size I’m working with though; most of my friends from high school did not go greek, so my first hand knowledge is limited to a couple of other schools and my own.

      21. Sorry for the typos. I did have a weirdly vivid dream about zombies last night. I’m gonna go with the zombies ate my brains excuse.

      22. she mentions that the friend could just go in the kitchen and get her own food for free though, i guess the sorority pays for their food?

      23. kerrycontrary says:

        More like their dues/what they pay for housing for the semester covers food. It’s like being on a mealplan basically. They pay room/board to live in the house and there is lunch/dinner available every day.

      24. Avatar photo MackenzieLee says:

        I did not live with her.

      25. Avatar photo theattack says:

        Your letter says “We live in the same sorority house.” Doesn’t that mean you lived together?

      26. Avatar photo MackenzieLee says:

        I’m not sure what my original forum post said. I think that Wendy just edited for clarity. But no one lives in the sorority house.

      27. You honestly just need to say NO. Like, she probably was doing this to other people and they got fed up with it. Just tell her, “look I’m not trying to be rude, but I am hungry, and you can just walk into the kitchen and get your own. I cannot afford to feed other people bc money is tight for me, so.please stop asking.” Or something like that.

      28. My husband always wants me to share my food and it makes me insane. He knows I don’t like to share food, but yet he keeps asking! I to announce when I’m going to the kitchen, and ask him if I should get some for him, too. But it doesn’t always work. Stupid food stealers.

      29. For some people this may be a manners/culture thing. I’ve been in families where it was just UNHEARD of to go get something for just yourself. In fact it was considered incredibly rude to not offer outright. It would be just assumed you of course brought enough from the kitchen for anyone else who may want some. So the muncher may not even realize her behaviour is perceived as rude. I actually remember as a kid getting lectured for not bringing food for others when I brought snacks from the kitchen.

  4. LW2: This is a typical roommate problem. Everyone has a friend who is lazy like this. I remember I had a friend who got in a screaming match with a roommate over borrowed eggs and another who moved out over olive oil usage. It is hard to maneuver the shared space vs shared things issues. However, what you need to do is take a step back and look at the big picture.

  5. LW1: Have you ever heard “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me”?

    LW2: If someone asks for something you don’t want to give them, say no. Say you’re going to eat them all.

    LW3: WWS. He wasn’t trying to be friends with you.

  6. LW2 i totally get where you are coming from….things like that can really start to get annoying….there is a guy i work with and he will just come up and help himself to whatever i am eating….one time it was poutine (sorry for those non Canadians….poutine is french fries, mozzarella cheese and gravy) and he just digs his hands in to my pile of fries and grabs a couple and starts eating them (i was just picturing the germs from his hands swimming through my gravy and couldn’t eat after that!)….then more recently i had a bag of dark chocolate covered almonds on my desk and he comes into my office and without asking digs his hands in to the bag of almonds and grabs a big handful….so again i am picturing his sweat, dirt and germs or whatever else living in my bag of almonds now!

    1. haha, i was about to be like, thats ridiculous! but… my coworkers and i operate like that. lol

    2. in NJ it’s called “disco fries” – (the fries covered with cheese and gravy), and they have them in every diner! wow i’m so craving them now.

      1. Yes, disco fries! Every time people start talking about poutine on here, I’m like, “wait, you mean disco fries?”

      2. yeah, “poutine” sounds way too elegant a name for that! lol

      3. Poutine is actually not made with mozzarella cheese but with cheese curds. Those are extremely hard to find outside of Canada (I guess you can buy some online and have them delivered), so that’s probably the difference between poutine and disco fries.

        And poutine is a national dish here in Quebec. I’m warning you everybody, mozzarella and cheese curds are not the same. And I’m ready to bite while defending this point. =P

      4. oh yes, i am with you here. and you can get cheese curds in america, but in wisconsin! its like a thing in wisconsin. and they are yummy.

        and yes, different then mozz. different processing, and different ingredients if i remember correctly…

      5. i googled: cheese curds are FRESH, like after 12 hours they are not considered good anymore. they are also made from “cured” milk. mozz does not need to be “fresh”, and you do not cure the milk. but they are both curdled with rennet.

      6. sorry, sorry, it is cheese curds, not sure why i said mozzarella (i think because they are both white) thanx miel!

      7. Avatar photo Imsostartled says:

        They’re easy to find in MN and (I’m assuming) Wisconsin. 😀 I miss the MN state fair where there are deep fried cheese curds…. sooooo goooood. mmmmmm

        That said I never heard of poutine until I came to CA. Which is really weird because we used to go to Canada all the time, but not Quebec so maybe that’s it.

        Now I’m hungry and I’ve just put myself on a diet because the scale is inching higher and I just went to the OC fair last night. ugh.

    3. How has this happened more than once without you smacking his hand and telling him to lay off? I mean once… verbal warning. Second time, well you’ve been warned, keep your hands off my food 🙂

      1. landygirl says:

        For a twist on Linday’s post above…Take my food once, shame on you. Take my food twice, shame on me.

      2. YES!

      3. i’m very non confrontational! and the guy is super nice! i’m just worried that one day i will get super mad and just unleash on the poor guy like a momma grizzly! i’m actually hiding my snacks in my desk now 🙁

      4. The guy is not supernice… he’s a parasite feeding off of your nonconfrontational attitude. UNLEASH!!!!!

      5. LOL! Ok! Next time he goes for my food i’m gonna unleash my inner hell beast!

    4. Avatar photo lemongrass says:

      I love how every time someone mentions poutine here it makes a big kerfuffle.

      1. findingtheearth says:

        I live 30 mins away from canada and have never had poutine. When I use to waitress, Canadians would ask for it, but sadly, we did not have it.

        I miss Canadian customers. They are so nice. Though fractions confused them (1/2 lb burgers and 1/3 burgers).

      2. Are you sure it wasn’t the lbs that confused them? Canada does use the metric system.

      3. Lemongrass says:

        Yeah but everybody uses lbs for weight. I have no clue how many kgs I weigh. It’s likely that we don’t order burger sizes here like that. I know what 1/3 lb is but not how much burger that is.

      4. i’m canadian and i know we know what a 1/4 pounder is (thank you mc donalds), but 1/3 pounder? never heard of it…i think we are more interested in the number of patty’s than the actual weight 🙂

  7. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

    Haha LW 2 made me laugh. I remember food being such a big deal in college! I also remember my friend Benny not sharing his puppy chow his mother would send (you know, chex cereal mixed with peanut butter and chocolate and coated in powder sugar?), so I’d steal some when he wasn’t in his room. I also remember gaining 30 pounds in college, so…

    Also, what’s a garlic knot?

    1. I had to Google garlic knots (basically garlic bread, tied in a knot) and I want to eat that now.

      1. Oh my god, for real? people do not know what garlic knots are?? I’m like horrified & delighted at the same time.

      2. they are an east coast thing, more, right? i remember the pizza places in school having them- every single pizza place, and the east coast-ers always ordered them.

        i dont see them as much in the rest of the country

      3. Hmm okay, that’s interesting. I really didn’t know they were an East Coast thing!

      4. Avatar photo GatorGirl says:

        I’m pretty sure it is. I haven’t seen them down in FL.

      5. We have garlic twists here in CA.

      6. ive seen them other places, but like i said, EVERY place in new york had them. i have only seen them here and there in the rest of the country

      7. lets_be_honest says:

        I didn’t either. This is all shocking information. And I call poutine irish nachos, btw.

      8. Grilledcheesecalliope says:

        Here Irish nachos are waffle fries, with the regular nacho. Poutine is just gravy fries but we don’t have cheese curds either, just cheddar.

    2. It’s a knot-shaped bread (usually made from pizza dough) covered in oil & garlic. MMMMM

      (Also, really you did not know that? Do they not have garlic knots in Chicago???)

      1. Haha. I was able to infer what they are — and I was pretty sure as I read that Drunk Copa has had them before & is a big fan — but I Googled to be safe. And also because I like looking at pictures of food at work since I’m otherwise understimulated, haha

      2. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

        it sounds delicious! and no i haven’t seen “garlic knots” anywhere.

      3. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

        oh, it looks like there are garlic knots in chicago:

      4. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

        also, fabelle, i think you should send me some garlic knots so i know what i’m missing.

    3. Also, sorry. I hope I don’t sound bitchy. I’m just shocked! You guys need to find garlic knots & eat them, like, right now.

      (There’s a place in my town that used to put all of the garlic knots in a tin FILLED with oil. It sounds gross, but it was ~so~ fucking good. Ahhhh)

      1. That doesn’t sound gross! That sounds AWESOME!

      2. I don’t like garlic knots. 🙁 I’ve always had ones that were hard and burnt.

    4. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

      Also, LW2, if you really want to get this food stealer back, give her all the mozerella sticks and watch her gain weight mwahahaha! No but really, if we are taking about fried cheese, consider this some wise advice from someone who’s been there: stop eating that shit now! Fill your plate with veggies, maybe she won’t steal that.

      1. Avatar photo call-me-hobo says:

        Sometimes I put veggies on my plate…but they are usually next to hot wings. That’s the same thing, right?

      2. lets_be_honest says:

        I’m having fruit salad for dinner. Well, its mostly grapes actually. Ok, all grapes. Fermented grapes.

        I’m having wine for dinner.

      3. That e-card thing was the best one ever!

      4. lets_be_honest says:

        Right? My brother sent it to me. I want to print and frame it.

      5. Avatar photo lemongrass says:

        I really wish we could hang out.

      6. lets_be_honest says:

        Me too lemon. Me too. I’d probably try to kidnap your baby though, so maybe its for the best.

      7. Liquid Luck says:

        Ha, I do that a lot too, yet somehow the veggies never get eaten. It’s a mystery.

      8. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

        those celery sticks drenched in the hot wing sauce are my favorite! I always eat them up.

      9. here’s how I handled a food stealer: He used to come whenever I had potato chips. He would just dig in and take them all. He was especially fond of the Classic Lay’s chip. So, one day, I got some Lay’s Salt & Vinegar chips and put them in a regular Lay’s bag. The thing is, the longer they sit, the stronger they get. He never noticed the difference until he ate them. He made a huge production of spitting them out and actually had the nerve to complain. But he never stole from me again.

      10. lets_be_honest says:

        My dad used to only buy coffee ice cream because we didn’t like it. Solved that issue by dousing the ice cream with sprinkles.

      11. I’ve take to drinking Espresso Vodka b/c my husband won’t drink it! Any other liquor I get seems to disappear before I get more than a few drinks out of it.

      12. *taken, not take

    5. landygirl says:

      I am highly disappointed that you turned out to be a puppy chow thief. Stealing someone’s food is just plain wrong!!!

      1. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

        i’m a reformed puppy chow thief; i don’t do it anymore! …. and his mom made so much he never noticed! i swear. ahem.

      2. well, lets be real, if there is anything in life that you should automatically share with people, its puppy chow.

      3. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

        puppy chow and STDs! wait no.

    6. There are also cinnamon knots, the dessert version, which is covered in cinnamon sugar instead of garlic.

  8. LW1: WWS.

    LW2: She asked for ONE WHOLE ANIMAL CRACKER!?! The nerve! In all seriousness, though, yeah, mooch-y friends can be annoying. I’m not the best at saying no myself. If you guys live in the same sorority house and this problem occurs with food you keep in stock there, maybe you can start saying something like, “I’m going to make X, do you want some?” or if you’re out to dinner, “Do you want to split an order of X?” (and order a larger portion). That way, you’re accounting for BOTH appetites before the problem occurs. Other than that, I think you should just put your foot down. “I only made enough for myself, sorry. There’s more in the kitchen!” or “I wanted to save the leftovers from my dinner out to eat tomorrow. Sorry.” If you stop letting her mooch, she’ll stop trying to mooch.

    LW3: I find it strange that you’d invite a potential boyfriend out with you and another dude (even if that “other” dude is just a platonic friend). Regardless, WWS.

  9. LW#1: What everyone else said. Also, delete this guy’s number and find someone who isn’t living with his girlfriend. What you have going with this guy will just suck up your time, drain you emotionally and make you miserable. He’s not worth it.

    LW#2: I suggest licking everything on your plate. It worked in kindergarten. Or, just say no.

    LW#3: You don’t want to date him; he doesn’t want to be friends with you. There’s no fix for this. MOA.

  10. Guy Friday says:

    Maybe I’m just dense, but while I get the “Jake” advice, why the MOA for “Kevin”? She was crashing with him, and she invited “Jake” — who she sees as just a friend — to get dinner, and presumably says to “Kevin” “Hey, come grab a bite with us when you get off work.” Am I missing something here?

    1. i was also confused by that!

    2. I was confused as well— she refers to Kevin as a “potential boyfriend”, so I think his interest is welcomed. Unlike Jake’s?

    3. Liquid Luck says:

      Add me to the confused list. Maybe I’ve just been doing it wrong, but my last two relationships have both started as hookups, and I’ve had both guys meet up with me after work even though I was already out with *gasp* another dude! Sure, I’m not going to suggest that Kevin is totally into her and they’re, like, so perfect for each other, but unless Wendy left out some relevant information, I don’t think we can flat out say that he’s definitely not a potential boyfriend.

    4. I read it as Wendy just saying the “he wants to date you” part had to do with Kevin, not the MOA, but now that I look again, it’s very confusing.

      Either way, the LW deemed Kevin a potential boyfriend herself, so I’m not sure why she needed to be told any of those things about him.

      1. Liquid Luck says:

        That would make way more sense. I can see how it could be read either way now that you’ve pointed it out.

      2. I read it that way too, but was still confused (because, yeah, LW dubbed him “potential boyfriend” so there wasn’t any of the “I thought he was my friend; turns out he just wants in my pants” drama.)

      3. Yeah! I was confused about why the P.S. was added because it seemed to be stuff the LW already knew.

  11. LW1: WWS.

    LW2: oh. my god. Just grab more. Or be like, “Ohh, I’m actually gonna eat ALL OF THIS, but there’s more in the kitchen, mmkay?” Or start eating in the bathroom, I dunno? This shouldn’t be that big of a deal…

    LW3: You’re being girlfriend-zoned )

    1. SixtyFour says:

      Wow, awesome word: girlfriend-zoned. I like it. I think I will use it in my real life!

  12. Liquid Luck says:

    I’m disappointed in the DW community for not coming up with the right answer for LW2. Come on people.

    LW2, whenever your friend comes up and asks for a cracker, just yell “JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD” and keep eating. Repeat as necessary, she’ll eventually get the hint 😉

    1. I say that to my food stealing husband. He didnt’ get it 🙁

    2. …after Joey eats his date’s cake, “I’m not even sorry!” 🙂

      1. Liquid Luck says:

        Ha, I love that one too. I really wish we could post gifs here, because then I wouldn’t even need to type on Shortcut days.

    3. SpaceySteph says:

      I came here just to post that: JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!

    4. Yessss, I knew that episode would be referenced, as it should’ve been.

  13. landygirl says:

    LW1 – First of all, I’m not sure if you’re still married or not but both you and your”boyfriend” are scumbags. If you’re going to date be sure that both of you are single.

    LW2 – Tell her to get her own food. I would be highly annoyed as well.

    LW3 – I don’t understand people who try and be friends with someone they know likes them as more than a friend. Maybe it feeds your ego? You knew Jake had feelings for you so you shouldn’t be surprised that he stopped contacting you after the incident. Jake isn’t in the clear either, he was trying to get in your pants because, hey, old guys love young girls. He wasn’t really your friend. As for the new guy, I don’t agree with Wendy because I don’t have enough info.

  14. Avatar photo MackenzieLee says:

    Lol at lw #2…..oh wait that’s me. That might have been the most petty thing I have ever got upset about. But as all good lw’s do I can provide some extra info.1. I have the backbone of a slug. I really suck at saying no. When I do say no it makes me really uncomfortable. I tried it a few times and she would beg for my food until it just got awkward and I would cave or she would get mad 2. She isn’t a reciprocal sharer. I’m all about sharing at all. If I ask for something of hers she always says no. 3. Well there is no three but I figured two was not enough points. I’m glad I provided an end of the week laugh for everyone (me included).

    Also I posted that in the forum a year ago. In a mini update, we are no longer friends for a myriad of reasons so now my ridiculously over-priced animal crackers from the union are safe.

    1. you have to learn to say no. you have to! its a required life skill to be an adult.

    2. landygirl says:

      Judging from this, it was less about the food and more about her personality. She was not only a food thief, she was a bully. I’m happy the food thief is out of your life.

    3. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

      haha, you’re cute, mackdaddy! and i promise if we ever meet i will not steal your food.

    4. lets_be_honest says:

      Haha, I sympathize with you on point 1. Katie’s right though. 🙁

    5. Yikes. She sounds obnoxious and I’m glad she’s outta your life! I hate when people who hate to share their food want to share yours.

  15. Avatar photo lemongrass says:

    Everyone grows up in households where food sharing is handled differently. My husband’s family never shares food, they all get separate bowls. His mom will make you whatever you want to eat. My family? Well, theres tons of us and if you made yourself food you were damn well expected to share. Made yourself a sandwich? If your brother walks by and says “Gimme a bite!” you do it. No hard feelings, it just looks yummy. “Bite for bite?” is said every time we go out to eat in a restaurant. We get joy from others sharing how good our food tastes. So now I try my husband’s food but he doesn’t want mine. Well, he didn’t 5 years ago, I think I’m starting to wear on him.

    1. Yes. This dynamic has come up a couple of times in my relationship (I even posted about it once on the forums). My boyfriend is okay sharing food with me, because he loooves me (haha) but if there’s others involved, he gets tetchy. Like, our family gets a billion appetizers when we go out, & we’re all expected to share— but he doesn’t share. And “family style” places give him a panic attack. He’s getting better though, I think? (He makes sure to remind me. Like, “your grandpa was just eating off of my plate at one point, you know. I didn’t say anything, though!!”)

      1. yea, me too. jake has this deal about having the “first bite” of his food. its really, really weird. and he also doesnt really like to share in general.

      2. Avatar photo lemongrass says:

        Theres another weird thing but it’s more to do with his illogical germaphobia: he won’t eat off my fork. That grosses him out. Yet he’s totally cool with sharing a water glass, kissing me on the lips (and elsewhere!) It makes no freaking sense.

      3. Grilledcheesecalliope says:

        I’ve had serious fights with my bf about first bites, or more sips in drive throughs. Since he normally drives the cup goes to him first and he will always take a sip of mine. It is beyond irritating especially because he always gets lemonade or something nasty and I only have coke when we go out.

      4. Ok I am one of the ‘must have the first bite’ people….. its my food! I chose it! I want to see if I made the right choice before anybody else!
        But then I’m not a food sharer anyway…..

      5. Avatar photo theattack says:

        Oh God, I could never handle that. Kudos to your boyfriend for adapting like that. I can barely stand for my husband, who I swap saliva with on the regular, to put his fork near my plate. If someone even touches me while I’m eating I’m grossed out.

      6. lets_be_honest says:

        Aww, love the grandpa part. At least he’s trying!

    2. landygirl says:

      That is just plain WRONG!! Stay away from my food!

    3. Liquid Luck says:

      My family does that too, only we always ask “taste for taste?” You’re allowed to decline your taste of their food, but you cannot refuse to share yours with them or you will be shunned. We also have no qualms about sharing straws, cups, utensils, etc., because the more germs you share, the better your immune system gets! Right? Luckily J seems to be ok with it, because SOs brought into the fold do not get exemptions. You’re either in or out.

  16. Avatar photo the_optimist says:

    LW2 could do what my sister does and fake-sneeze all over what she’s eating.

    1. lets_be_honest says:

      Or lick it all. That’s what I do, I mean Lil. Lil does that. Not me. That’d be childish.

  17. Avatar photo bittergaymark says:

    LW1) No.

    LW2) Sorority Girls? Fighting over fried mozzerella sticks? Eating five at a time? Damn the next generation truly is going to be morbidly obese… Yikes.

    LW3) Stop acting so innocent. I get it. It’s fun and exciting to have all these men just dying to bed you. That being said, you can’t be at all surprised that some get annoyed when they repeatedly fail to do so…

    1. lets_be_honest says:

      Haha, 5 mozz stix making someone morbidly obese? I must have body dysmorphia.

      1. Uh oh. Me too. I like exclusively eat five at a time.

      2. Right? The only time I only have one or two is when I’m stealing them off someone’s plate…;)

      3. lets_be_honest says:

        Time for a diet Lindsay! You sound out of control.

      4. I so am. Sometimes I wake up mozzarella-stick-shaped grease stains on my pajamas. It’s a problem.

      5. lets_be_honest says:

        Hahaha. At least they aren’t in your hair?

      6. Liquid Luck says:

        That’s really weird of you guys. Everyone knows that you should make them in batches of six or eight. And dip them in both marinara and ranch, because OMG DELICIOUS.

      7. Avatar photo Imsostartled says:

        MMMM mozz stix delicious…. Which is why the only time I ever eat them is when my thin as a rail husband who can eat anything without weight gain makes them, which is like 1 every 2 months. I snag one when he does it, btw he’s adapted and always puts 1 more in the oven then he wants to eat. For me! If that isn’t love I don’t know what is haha.

      8. Does he make snack packs for you? 😉

      9. Avatar photo Imsostartled says:

        Hahaha no, but we make sure that the other doesn’t get hungry. We both get really “hangry” so we’re careful about that. He’s quicker to get hangry then me, but if hangryness strikes me it’s a complete spiral. Here’s our conversation when I’ve gone past the point of return.

        Husband:What do you want to eat tonight.
        Me: Nothing!
        Husband: I think you’re getting hangry.
        Me: No I’m not! Stop saying that Rawr.
        Husband: Here why don’t you eat some of this snack.
        Me: Nooooo, that’s gross! (He leaves it beside me and 5 minutes later I succomb and eat some).

        Me 10 minutes later: Oh, I feel better, I was so hungry. Sorry!
        Husband: I know.

        When he gets hungry really simple tasks frustrate him and he blows up. haha.

      10. lets_be_honest says:

        Haha, I do the same thing. He will just leave food at my side when I swear I’m not hungry and 5 minutes later comes back to take the empty plate to the sink.

      11. Haha, I also get frustrated about dumb things when I’m hangry.

      12. That’s adorable. I need a husband.

      13. Ah, my boyfriend gets “hangry” too. I have only successfully thwarted the hanger with food once— we were driving somewhere, running errands I guess, like in the middle of the day & he started getting unusually snappish. I remembered I had mint chocolate in my purse, waited a few minutes, & then was like, “hey I still have these, you want one?” He ate them. A few minutes passed. And then he was like, “See, I think you need to just keep snacks for me.”

      14. I could easily eat 25 mozza sticks! YUM!

      15. lets_be_honest says:

        I could eat 26…and then 5 pizza bites. In Yo Face

      16. I’m not into pizza bites. BUT I could eat 27 mozza sticks, then 10 jalapeno poppers dipped in ranch dressing. yum.

      17. lets_be_honest says:

        Poppers with cheddar or cream cheese? Big distinction.

      18. SpaceySteph says:

        Huge. I won’t touch poppers made with cream cheese. Cheddar FTW!

      19. lets_be_honest says:

        What idiot came up with the cream cheese idea? Gross.

      20. Cheddar. Cream Cheese is yummy, but it doesn’t belong in Poppers.

      21. One time I bought a box for the frozen cheddar ones at the grocery store and there was a cream cheese one mixed in there. I was not happy when I bit into it.

    2. When you’re 19 you can still eat 5 mozz sticks at a time and be a skinny minnie. It’s when you’re out of college, the gym isn’t free, you aren’t walking across campus 5 times a day at least, and suddenly your metabolism announces it hates you that you can’t eat 5 mozz sticks anymore. Or garlic knots. Definitely not garlic knots. You also can’t drink that many beers any more, so don’t even try. You also start getting something called hangovers.

      I’m old.

      And the next generation is quickly becoming morbidly obese, but it isn’t the girls who get to college and discover drunk food at the front of that wave, its the crap kids get in the habit of eating young and continue eating into adulthood. Also, portions. Portion control is out of control.

      1. lets_be_honest says:

        I’m 31 and can still eat 5 at a time, haha.
        I’m with you on the hangovers though 🙁

    3. Avatar photo MackenzieLee says:

      Or we just have the metabolism a of teenagers 😉

    4. Avatar photo GatorGirl says:

      BGM, I agree with you about the fried cheese. I can hardly eat a whole mozz stick with out feeling gross.

      1. Avatar photo theattack says:

        Oh, GatorGirl. I feel like I don’t even know who you are anymore…

      2. Avatar photo GatorGirl says:

        Haha, I’m super weird when it comes to food, so I would take what ever I say with a grain of salt. I’d rather eat a bag of carrot sticks than chocolate anyday. Totally a weird-o.

      3. Confession: I also think mozz sticks are disgusting. I don’t like fried foods

      4. lets_be_honest says:

        I think you’re disgusting Morgan.

        In all seriousness, I don’t even believe you. Anyone who says they don’t like fried food is a liar.

      5. I also don’t like pizza. You can take away my American citizenship now 🙂

      6. omg. I can’t believe it.

      7. Never have. Birthday parties as a child were a tough time. To be fair, I don’t like pizza with marinara and melted cheese. Gimme some pesto and feta or fresh mozz and I am all in.

      8. lets_be_honest says:

        You should find the address of misfit island, and move there once your citizenship has been revoked.
        This is all too unbelievable for me.

      9. Like the island of misfit toys? I could be okay with that.

    5. Any restaurant you order mozzarella sticks from will give you 5…what’s so crazy about eating that many?

      1. Because you’re supposed to order them individually! 1.5 mozz sticks, please!

    6. Umm, am I too inappropriate if I make an, “Everyone knows sorority girls are just going to drink & throw up the mozarella sticks anyway” joke?

      My college freshman roommate (sorority girl) used to make that joke CONSTANTLY before we’d go out, as she was rifling through our mini fridge. “I’m debating what I’m willing to throw up tonight, har har.”

      1. SpaceySteph says:

        Seriously, I’m just proud of these girls for eating actual food. Like the kind with calories.

    7. landygirl says:

      Of course, gay men are so shallow and critical of people’s appearances that this statement doesn’t surprise me.

      1. Avatar photo bittergaymark says:

        I swear… Nobody these days has any sense of either irony or sarcasm. Such a humorless lot round here lately.

  18. findingtheearth says:

    LW1: Can we say booty call? He does not like you. MOA.

    LW2: Really? She is grown up and make her get her own damn food.

    LW3: It sounds like Jake moved on.

  19. Lw2: Everyone knows that stolen foods are calorie free, but if she prepared them herself, the calories would count. Give the girl a break and let her diet in peace.

    1. Hmm, looks like I’ll have to start a career in food thievery! Where’s a good place to find someone eating mozzarella sticks? B/c I’m really craving them right about now, but I’m also trying to lose some weight by tracking my calories.

  20. Avatar photo MackenzieLee says:

    And to anyone that hasn’t ha a garlic knot go eat one. Seriously. And if it isn’t drenching in oil and cheese it’s not a real garlic knot

    1. Avatar photo MackenzieLee says:

      You will thank me later

  21. Great response to LW1

  22. I’m totally one of those people like the roommate in letter three. I always take a bit of my boyfriend’s snack (though I would never do this with a friend or roommate?) It’s not because I’m hungry and too lazy to get my own, I just want to have a taste. I don’t eat junk food and would never eat at Wendy’s but sometimes sitting next to him mowing down on a thing on fries is too tempting and I need to grab one.

  23. lets_be_honest says:

    Does anyone eat with their arms guarding their food? I do that. And I eat extremely fast. I think its from growing up in a house that if you didn’t eat in 10 seconds, you weren’t getting seconds, so it was a race.

    1. I eat fast, and I’m like super anal about everyone getting the correct amount of food when we’re sharing. (Like everyone getting an equal number of mozzarella sticks.) I have a bizarre fixation with making sure I get enough food. I think I see food the way someone would if they had been like a homeless forager as a child, which I was not.

      1. My second son nibbles. It can take him up to 2 hours to finish a regular meal. Especially if he doesn’t particularly want what’s on his plate.
        The kids will pull the “I’m full” routine with only 1/4 of their food gone. Funny, because they were clamouring for dinner to the point of asking if they could make their own to hurry it up just 5 minutes before the meal was laid out.
        So, we make them put it in the fridge and tell them that if they don’t eat it by a certain time (usually 7), then they get nothing else for the night. Period. DInner is at 5:30 most days. It’s eat what you’re served or go hungry. No desserts/snacks unless the meal is finished, and desserts are treats, not a daily affair.

        We HAD to adopt the hard line because the kids would waste so much food and wouldn’t eat the left-overs and would attempt to manipulate to get any treats in the house or manipulate a grandparent into bringing over snacks/treats/fast food.
        And dammit, their manners had better be “turned on”. Chewing with your mouth open, talking with your mouth full, slurping, loud burping (on purpose), smacking your lips, etc – nuh-uh. Not happening. We’ll send a kid away from the table for 10-15 minutes if that shit starts up. It’s a chain reaction. If one kid starts eating like a monster without comment or consequence, the others start doing it and completely forget the concept of table manners.

    2. Ha! No. I’m apparently an incredibly slow eater, but I didn’t really realize how slow until college because I was the “fastest” eater in my family. It takes me like 30 – 45 minutes to eat a meal and be done with it. But it took my grandfather over an hour to finish a regular dinner. (I know this because my grandparents always ate during 60 Minutes and it would be starting in the background when they sat down to eat and over before my grandfather was done.) I hate it when I have to eat quickly and often just won’t bother.

    3. Liquid Luck says:

      Yes! I’m the slowest eater of my siblings, but I still eat like twice as fast as Jeff. I have to consciously slow my eating when I go out with friends so that I don’t embarrass myself. But then I’m out of practice at holidays and I’m too slow again. It’s a vicious cycle.

  24. I had food mooches. I grew up with one (my mom) and married one (my 1st husband). When they are little kids, it’s different. You feed them from your plate to get them interested in the real foods then graduate them to their own plate.

    Adults are annoying though. Whenever my 1st husband and I would go out while I was pregnant, I’d order what I wanted and he would speed through his meal and then look at me and say “are you going to finish that?”. If I said yes, he would stare at it longingly, salivate and smack his lips until I got so disgusted that I gave up. Every. Single. Time. Anyone smacking their lips in anticipation or satisfaction makes me crazy now and I have to control the impulse to smack the ever living shit out of them.

    My current husband is a lot better about things. Occasionally, if I’m snacking on the couch, and I push the plate/bowl away for a bit, he’ll ask, but it’s a once in a while thing. And I know to make extra bacon/sausage (for rice/breakfast bowls for later) because otherwise, him and the kids will bombard me. Of course, the smell of breakfast foods can induce anyone into food craziness 🙂

    1. Avatar photo theattack says:

      CURRENT HUSBAND, EVERYONE!! CURRENT HUSBAND! She wouldn’t admit it when I tried to call her out on it, but there ya go.

      And that sounds disgusting and awful about your first husband. No one could eat under those circumstances. 🙁

      1. Avatar photo Imsostartled says:

        OMG Good call theattack, totally just passed over that!

        Spill the deets AKchic!!

        And aren’t we supposed to take a drink since AKchic once again trumped our stories? Drink!

      2. lets_be_honest says:

        AK will trump every story ever told. Forever. So basically we should just drink every time someone tells any story, because you know AK’s got one that’s better.

      3. I doubt I can trump every story ever told. I am not the World’s Most Interesting Woman… yet.

      4. No real details. We kept pushing it back for one reason or another, and decided to hell with it, we weren’t going to even try to do anything big. My stepdad officiated (and we’re lucky he wore a shirt with his shorts), my mom and his mom were there and it was at my mom’s house (mom didn’t wear a bra and was wielding a giant knife to cut veggies). It took us less than 30 seconds at the dining room table where we sat. Kids played video games in the living room.

        That’s it. No big fanfare. It hasn’t changed us and we don’t regard it as a big deal.

  25. A La Mode says:

    LW2, just shout: “I’m a Joey. I DON’T SHARE FOOD!”

    You’ll have fewer friends but it doesn’t sound like this one is a keeper anyways.

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