It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
I recently started dating a guy I’ve known since high school. He seems REALLY interested in me. He says he wants a serious relationship and he says I’m exactly what he has been looking for. I like him a lot, too. We are both 32. However, there is an issue I can’t seem to overcome. He has over 500 “friends” on FB. And many of those are sexy girls he doesn’t know, and he keeps adding more all the time. So there are 500 now, but the number keeps going up. He says this is meaningless and that he is not willing to take them off; maybe in the future he might consider it but not any time soon. The problem is I can’t see a relationship evolving due to this. I don’t feel I want to be in a relationship if the guy I’m seeing is so ok with adding sexy women to his Facebook. Am I wrong feeling this way? Am I just being insecure?? Is that ok for a guy to do that? — Just Insecure
Sure, it’s ok for a guy to constantly friend sexy women on Facebook whom he doesn’t know, just as it’s perfectly ok for you to say, “Hmm, that’s not someone I see myself being in a relationship with.” You aren’t wrong for feeling the way you do. And as far as I’m concerned, you’d be doing this guy, who is 32 and says he wants a serious relationship, a real favor if you told him exactly why you can’t continue dating him. If a quality woman is what he wants, he needs to let go of the fluff. And if he can’t — if having a bunch of sexy women he doesn’t know on his Facebook friend list is more important than pursuing a real life relationship with a quality woman, then he’s not the guy for you.
I have been with my boyfriend for seven months. Something told me to look through his prepaid phone he used when his main phone broke. I found he was texting prostitutes he found on Backpage. When I confronted him, he said his friend was using his phone and that I should trust him. Then I noticed he was looking up Backpage escort services on my laptop. I’m not sure what to do. He is a great boyfriend — probably the best I have ever had in terms of how he treats me — and I don’t have any actual proof that he is meeting the prostitutes, but I feel it is likely. I kinda depend on him financially, so this is a rough decision. — Dependent
Stop depending on him financially and the decision won’t be so rough.
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.