New Here? Welcome! Dear Wendy is a relationship advice blog. You can read about me here, peruse the archives here and read popular posts here. You can also follow along on Facebook and Instagram. If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected] (be sure to read these guidelines first). Thanks for visiting!
It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
I met this amazing guy three months ago and everything was perfect…until two weeks ago when he started acting weird and hiding his phone. It turns out he was talking to a girl who is a Facebook scammer after money. He gave her $200 to meet, so I broke up with him. Two days later he said he was sorry and that he had made a big mistake and regretted it. I checked his phone last night and he has still been messaging her but nothing of detail or any flirting. He then told me that his cousin told him that his ex is pregnant. Everyone, including the ex, thinks it’s another guy’s baby, but my boyfriend is freaking out that it could be his. I’m so confused. He’s perfect, but this drama isn’t. I’m happy he told me, and, when I asked him if he would want to be with her, he said no. I believe him as I know her. But I can’t handle being broken again. — Anti-Drama
Oh, honey. Two and a half months in and he’s paying women on Facebook to meet them and then announcing that he may have a baby on the way with his recent ex? Aim higher.
I have been dating this guy for almost a year and we have plans to get married, too. Right now he and I are butting heads over where we should live when we get married. He doesn’t want to live anywhere near the areas I live because that’s where most of my exes have lived and he says people talk all the time. But my family would like to see me stay around here when I get married. He says either we live out by where he’s currently living or move somewhere new. What should I do — be willing to live by him and be an hour and a half away from my family or don’t marry him because he’s not willing to move here so I can be close to my family? — Living the Dream
Don’t marry him. But not because he wants you to move an hour and a half away from family (I mean, that’s nothing); don’t marry him because neither of you sounds ready or invested enough in each other for marriage. I mean, really. If you can’t fathom moving some place to be with your wife because there might be people in a 50-mile radius she has slept with, that’s idiotic. And if you can’t fathom moving a measly hour and a half away from your family for the person you supposedly love and want to spend your life with, you’re just not into it. MOA.