It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
No, it is definitely not odd that a single parent would be cautious about introducing a new love interest into his kids’ lives. It’s called being a responsible and loving parent. Not everything is about you or about the ex-wife. This is about his kids, and before he lets them get attached to you, he wants to make sure you and he are on the same page, on a path you both agree with, and that your relationship is super solid. If you’re seriously questioning whether he wants to get back together with his ex-wife, I’m thinking he’s probably right to reserve integrating you into his family. It sounds like you aren’t really ready for the sacrifices necessary in dating a single parent; if I were you, I’d probably move on and stick with men who are better able to give you exactly whatever it is you want.
I think any guy who is able to collect cars most surely has the resources to find suitable storage for them beyond the garage space their ex-girlfriend offers up for rent. I think he’s probably lying to you, but it’s the inappropriate texts that would push me over the edge. You don’t say exactly WHAT was inappropriate about them, but it’s clear you’re angry, you don’t trust him, and you think he prioritizes his ex-girlfriend’s feelings over yours, so I’m not sure why you’re sticking around. Unless you just really like classic cars.
I mean, where are you going that you’re feeling so stressed and shelling out big bucks? Casual dating shouldn’t be so fraught. I’d suggest telling him you want to go dutch, or even saying, “Hey, I got the last six dates. You wanna get this one?” I’d suggest sticking with activities and events that are free or don’t cost much so you aren’t shelling out big bucks and getting all stressed out about finances, but, honestly, it doesn’t sound worth it. I’d move on, and next time, if the idea of paying for a date causes such anxiety, be clear before the date who is paying so you you don’t feel so frustrated when the bill comes and you’re the only one reaching for a wallet.
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].