It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
Yeah, I don’t think he has “made it clear” that he’s in a relationship with you and isn’t available to her since he got her pregnant a few months ago. Where’s the clarity in that? Girl, he’s playing you and he’s gonna keep on playing you — and the other woman — as long as you both let him ping-pong between you both. If it were I, I’d MOA and get a full STD screening, too.
I can’t clear this up for you; only your boyfriend can, and only if he tells you the truth. What I can tell you is that noticing changes in your relationship, being uncomfortable or dissatisfied with those changes, and wondering if those changes reflect changes in your partner’s feelings do NOT signify overthinking anything. Furthermore, who says that a woman “usually overthinks things”? Your boyfriend? Your friends? Other people? Those people suck and they’re being sexist and they’re wrong. Thinking, in general, does not mean overthinking, and anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is avoiding an honest discussion. If that describes your boyfriend, consider that a red flag… along with the suddenly infrequent sex, sudden money issues, lack of dates, and apathy towards marriage seven years in. All of this warrants some serious discussions–and a breakup if things don’t change.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].