It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
So this guy and I are not officially together, but I “really really like” him. I’m also really insecure. And last night I got really drunk and accidentally had sex with his best friend. I barely remember it, but, yeah, it happened. I’m a terrible person. I feel disgusting. I hate cheaters and now look at me. What should I do?! — Now a Cheater
If you weren’t together with the guy you “really, really like,” then you couldn’t have cheated on him. You did probably blow your shot at “officially” being with him, but something tells me that chance was pretty small already or it would have already happened. Still, if you want to know where you stand with him, just ask him. If you don’t like his answer, you can always see where you stand with the bestie. Is he cute?
My ex and I have been broken up for five years now, but we’ve continued having sex off and on. During one of our off times he got into a relationship with this girl from his job. We reconnected like we always did, but this time he was cheating on someone. I moved to a different state hoping to give his relationship a chance now that his girlfriend is pregnant. I recently went back to my hometown and we somehow got reconnected like we always do, and he cheated on his pregnant girlfriend with me (on the day of their baby shower, which I had no clue about). He texts me every day telling me he can’t live without me and he doesn’t want to lose me and that I just need to have patience. I don’t want to ruin his family, but part of me feels he knows he made a mistake and he’s trying to fix it. Should I leave this situation alone for good even though I feel he’s the only guy made for me? — He’s Made for ME
Yes. The guy’s feeding you, and who knows how many other unsuspecting women, a bunch of BS. Be glad YOU aren’t the one who’s having his baby and will have to be tied to the loser indefinitely.
My guy and I have been together for almost four years. He became very depressed at the beginning of last year. He would tell me he didn’t love me, and he didn’t know if he wanted to be with me or not. He stopped talking to me. We only had sex when he wanted it. I tried talking with him, but he wouldn’t talk. So, I did a horrible thing and started dating another man. He found out and moved out. We never stopped seeing each other, but, in the midst of all this, he impregnated another woman. We decided to work things out, and now I want to know, since we’re back together, if I should help him financially with the child? — Reunited and It Feels So Good
Hell. No. Also: use birth control. Lots of it.
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.