It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
You don’t have to keep your baby. You can give it up for adoption and give it a chance to be raised in a loving and stable home with parents who truly want it.
While he was taking a nap I decided to look in his phone and HE LIED AGAIN! There were so many others. He wrote about wanting a black woman and asking about locations to meet. Some of the females he had daily conversations with. The worst one to me was a medic he had a deep relationship with. He mentioned needing her hugs and kisses and missed their friendship and asked what was her favorite intimate moment. He even mentioned me in an email. He told her he was so sorry he hadn’t written her in a while but I was being bipolar so he had to give me his passwords to his accounts so she could only write him on the new email address. It lasted for months.
He says he is changing and will never do it again but I don’t believe he will ever tell the truth. He wants us to go to counseling again but why bother after he lied to the first one? He says that we can get over this and be strong but all I keep thinking is “Why is now any different??” Has a relationship survived a spouse being this disgusting? — Disgusted
There’s a difference between surviving and thriving, between existing and growing. If you want to thrive and grow and embrace a happy life, you need to love yourself enough to get out of this dead-end marriage. Take all the proof of infidelity you’ve saved, and go see a divorce attorney right away.
Start dating other people. Maybe you’ll meet someone else you like better and/or maybe your FWB will see that he’s in danger of losing you and decide to commit. Better yet, distance yourself from the FWB, let him get hurt, and love yourself enough to say, “So what! Better he gets hurt than continuing to hurt me.”
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].