It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
Are you unhappy in your relationship, unhappy in your living situation, or unhappy because you miss your family? If it’s the latter, perhaps spending more time with your parents, who live nearby, will ease your homesickness. If your relationship simply isn’t able to withstand the adjustment of living together, first communicate your needs, and if they can’t be met, decide how you can reverse your decision to live together. The potential risk that moving out may screw up your relationship is smaller than the potential risk that continuing to live together will have if you’re so unhappy that you’re crying all the time. And in the future, do these 15 things before you move in with someone!
No, you are under no obligation to get a co-worker you are not close with and don’t necessarily even like a gift for a second child, especially if you don’t have the money to spare. I don’t think you have to even get a card, though a sincere “congratulations” and enthusiasm for any shared baby photos — sincere or not — is always a good gesture. For the record, I’m opposed to showers for the birth of children who are born within a two or three years of an older sibling, although if it were for a good friend, I’m sure I’d go and give a gift and not make a big deal about it.
I don’t know either, but maybe this column will give you some perspective and help you appreciate that the life of a military spouse isn’t always a walk in the park.
P.S. Why not just ask your boyfriend to dress up like a military guy for shits and grins?
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.