It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
I have had a guy ask me out for the last three years. I never would go, but I recently said yes. He is a little famous and the last two months have been his busiest time — he is literally working day and night, but it will be over soon. He texts me, “Good morning, beautiful,” and, “Hello, sexy” and he sends me tons of smiles morning, day, night. We slept together and he was very passionate. Afterward, though, he seemed stand-offish; when he texts now, he’s not so lovey-dovey.
He still texts morning, day, and night. I finally asked him why the last few days he has been different and he said he was stressed out about work and money. Long story short, I loaned him 5k. He still texts morning, day, and night. But the texts seem short. I know he’s busy using his hands building what he does. Well, not to be rude, but I’m beautiful and successful and he knows that, so what’s going on? — Beautiful and Successful
Well, sounds like it’s going to take more than beauty, success, 5k, and passionate sex for this guy to give you the attention you desire. It might just take a break in his busy schedule, which you say is coming soon, before he can get back to that lovey-dovey texting. Either hold tight or go out with someone who has more time to devote to you.
I recently entered a LDR with my wonderful girlfriend. We have been dating for two months now and we talk every morning and every night. Recently, though, I have been having a hard time keeping a conversation going with her when we talk. It’s gotten so bad that I make up excuses during the day so I can get off the phone. Our conversations at night usually start at about 8 pm and last till she goes to sleep at around 2 or 3 am. Basically what I’m asking is: What should I do? I feel like now our conversation completely depends on something major happening in our lives and us discussing it. — Phoning it In
You phone calls are way, way too long. You have nothing to discuss with each other because you don’t do anything except sit on the phone for six hours every night. Go out and have lives! See friends and go to the movies and cafes and bookstores. And then keep your conversations to an hour or less and discuss the lives you’ve been out living.
My boyfriend of a year, whom I live with, recently hired a girl with whom he had a sexual relationship in the past. Well, actually, he fell in love with her and she ditched him for a guy she is married to now. I do not feel comfortable with him working with her due to the fact that she has cheated on past husbands, so what won’t stop her from doing it again and stealing my boyfriend from me? I know it sounds insecure, but I was married for over 18 years and was cheated on. I cannot let my heart be broken again that way. I have expressed my feelings to my boyfriend and was told that “if dancing with the devil will grow the company, then we shall dance.” — Not Into Dancing with the Devil
I’d MOA for that line alone.
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at email@example.com.