It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
You just got home from spending four months in the hospital getting treated for cancer and your boyfriend not only didn’t so much as send a card, but he hung up on you when you expressed your hurt feelings? MOA!!!
Say, “Hey, roomie, things are going well with ‘Kevin,’ and I’m sure at some point he’ll be staying over. Please let me know if we’re ever inconveniencing you or making you uncomfortable and I’ll be happy to work out a compromise that’s fair for both of us.”
I don’t know what to do! She’s obviously welcome, but she doesn’t know about the theme and, of course, I have to tell her. I wouldn’t let her show up without knowing, but I also know she won’t come when she finds out. I don’t want to seem mean, but I really love how my birthday bash is gonna look and my other friend and I have done a lot in preparation. I understand how she feels about butterflies because I have my own fear (snakes), even though I can at least keep my cool when I see one on TV, but there’s not much time left until my birthday and she gave me the news just recently. What to do? — ButterflyBash
Tell her that you’d been fantasizing about a butterfly-themed party for a while and, when you learned she’d be out of town for your birthday, you decided this would be the perfect opportunity to plan one. Now that she’ll be there, she’s more than welcome to join in for part or all of the party, but you’ll understand if she can’t make it and maybe the two of you — and even some additional friends — can go out to dinner that week so she can still celebrate your birthday and catch up with you. But, seriously, fear of butterflies?!
You can follow me on Facebook here and sign up for my weekly newsletter here.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].