It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
I am about five weeks pregnant for my boyfriend of four months. He told me his ex-girlfriend is pregnant for him. Then later he told me he is only pulling my leg/ merely kidding. I am so worried and pray all the time for God to take control. I need your help because I am really confused whether or not he is truly pulling my leg or saying the truth. — Pregnant for Him
It’s fine to pray to God, but not at the exclusion of actually taking some control and responsibility of your own life. And that starts with figuring out how you want to proceed with your pregnancy, assuming the guy “you’re pregnant for” is an irresponsible tool who doesn’t take anything seriously and doesn’t plan to stick around to help you in any meaningful way. Are you prepared to raise a child on your own? If not, you better decide whether you want to terminate your pregnancy or find adoptive parents.
I have been dating this guy for a year and I haven’t met his kids or family. He met my entire family after four months. When I ask why I can’t meet them, he says it complicates things. His boys are his life and #1 priority and they will always come first, as they should. His ex is constantly putting him down and is always taking him to court for more money, when she is already getting a good chunk from him a month. He is unhappy with his job right now and unhappy that he is not making the money he made when he had is practice. He has admitted to me that he is scared of falling in love because he has been let down. He is an amazing man and father and I wouldn’t be with him this long if I didn’t think this would go somewhere. He knows I want marriage and kids and he is on the same page with that. I mentioned meeting his kids and family once before so he knows where I stand, but I don’t want to keep pressuring him. I love him and I can honestly say I have never loved someone until now. What do I do? — Getting Impatient
You’ve been together a year and you’ve only mentioned your desire to meet his family ONCE? I think you could probably mention it a few more times before you risk putting the pressure on and losing this guy, and, if not, then there probably isn’t the kind of potential here that you’re hoping for.
I have found proof that my husband of 20 years is answering personal ads from Craigslist. This is not the only time this has happened. He says nothing has ever happened physically, but I don’t believe him. I have lied to him about money issues but never once had the desire to cheat on him. I have told him I want out, but now he wants to see a marriage counselor. I wanted to the other times but he would not go. Am I wrong to say enough is enough? — Enough is Enough
You’ve invested 20 years already. What would a few more months hurt? If your husband is finally ready to go to counseling — go. If it doesn’t work out, you can leave the marriage knowing you at least gave it one last-ditch effort to save it.
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].