It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about two months. Neither of us has properly met each other’s parents and, since my birthday is on March 7th, I am planning a dinner so that he can meet my mom. However, even though my birthday’s on a Saturday, he works that day. Do you think it would be a big deal if he calls off work for this one day just to spend it with me? I mean he never called off work before and it wont be a “You’re fired!”-type situation. But he says that, no, he’s not calling off. Who’s wrong: he or I? And why??? — Birthday Girl
You’re wrong. It’s a birthday. It’s really not that big a deal — people have them all the time. You yourself have one every year. And most people don’t even take a day off work for their own birthdays, let alone for someone they’ve been dating two months. And, anyway, is he working the entire day? If he’s not available for dinner, what about breakfast? Or what about drinks after dinner? Even if he’s out the whole day, surely, there are other times you can introduce your boyfriend to your parents, and, if he’s a good boyfriend, he will properly celebrate you and your birthday at some point over the weekend when he isn’t at work. In a reasonable way. Like, maybe a dinner out or some flowers and a card. Keep your expectations in check. It’s just a birthday, after all.
I met this guy over the Internet (he lives in New York and I live in Jamaica) and I ended up developing feelings for him. He’s been nice to me because I have a 4-month-old baby and he does his best to be there for me. Anyway, on Valentine’s Day he sent me money and I was not appreciative because I believe he could have sent more. But instead of arguing about it, I started avoiding him. I didn’t wanted to talk to him because I wanted to get over the ungrateful emotion. Anyway, he texted me and I started saying things like I wanted to be alone and I wanted to take care of myself and I don’t want him doing everything for me because I want to make it on my own. I also said things like I know that every man has a monster inside of him, and I reminded him that he told me to call him when I I didn’t have any credit. (Normally, he would rush to get credit for me, as I told him, but on that day he didn’t). I kept on texting him, saying that he’s just like every guy I know and I wish I was working so I didn’t have to ask him for anything. He stopped replying and now I want him to chase me again because I really need him. — Need a Man to Pay the Bills
Get a grip, honey. The only man who owes you anything is the father of your baby, so track him down and fight him for some damn child support and get a damn job so you don’t have to manipulate men in other countries to pay your damn bills, God.
I have a question about guys. I am curious: Should a guy take a girl whom he is interested in dating to a local bar and then proceed to get so drunk that he cannot drive home even though she left her vehicle at his house because that was the plan before going out? Also, do guys take a girl to a Super Bowl party at that same bar the next day as well? This is a bar where is he is well-known. — He’s a Bar Fly
I think the better question is: Does a girl who isn’t impressed with a guy’s behavior at a bar go back to the same bar with the same guy the next day? And if so, how did it go?
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at email@example.com.