It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
>My husband has been married six times and he has children by two of his exes. He has pictures of two of his ex-wives in our closet. Should I be concerned about that? — Number Six
About the pictures? Of course not. But I’d certainly be concerned that your husband had five shots at marriage before yours and apparently couldn’t make them work. Would you feel safe driving a car that had been in five accidents? Wouldn’t the accident rate worry you a lot more than some memorabilia in the trunk? It should.
Suddenly, my boyfriend hardly talks to me, we’ve stopped going out, and we haven’t been intimate in two months, so I’m wondering if he has someone else. He always seems too busy with everything else — like work and friends — to spend time with me. Two weeks ago he went to the movies with a female friend. He hasn’t been answering my messages, but when I call, he answers, and when I ask him what’s going on, he gives me a solid or justifiable reason. Should I move on or stay? I’m unsure if we are even still together due to the way he is behaving. Please help. — Still His Girl
If someone is ignoring you so much that you don’t even know if you’re still dating, the answer is always: you’re not, and you should move on.
P.S. Yes, he’s seeing someone else.
I’m in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend of two months. He is asking me to send nude photos since he sent me some of him. I am uncomfortable doing it and I’ve told him that before, but he thinks it’s because I don’t trust him. Should I send them to him? By the way, we have never met in person. — Uncomfortable with Nude Selfies
No, you should never do something you’re uncomfortable doing, especially sexual in nature. And if this guy, whom you’ve never even met, is pressuring you to do so, that is a clear sign that he is not someone you should be interacting with. Also, if you haven’t met in person, he’s not your boyfriend.
I have a friend who posted a picture on social media without permission that I wasn’t happy with (it was an embarrassing picture of me on my birthday). I told her to delete it right away and, even though she was on the app, she decided to wait for a good 10 minutes before she replied and deleted it. What should I do? Should I still be her friend? — Embarrassed
If you are thinking of ending a friendship over a photo posted on social media that it took your friend ten whole minutes to delete after you asked her to, then perhaps you were not very close to begin with and it’s no love lost for either of you to move on already.
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.