It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
Screw those dumb “rules”! You’re a grown-ass woman, divorced, and on holiday. If you meet a man you fancy who seems to fancy you, what’s the harm in sleeping together if that’s what you both really want (if you use protection, etc.)? Why would you worry about his thinking you’re an “easy lay”? Would you think the same of him? Obviously not, so why should he think that of you? And of what if he does? It seems that this is someone you don’t have contact with outside of your holiday, so what difference does it make what some guy you’ll probably not see again thinks? If things had gone really well, maybe you’d have kept in touch and made arrangements to meet up again. But instead of pursuing something you really wanted, you let some arbitrary, sexist rule stop you, and it sounds like now you’ve missed an opportunity with someone you may have had a connection with.
Do not reach out to your ex-boyfriend until the thought of him with a new girlfriend does not bother you, you no longer analyze his social media behavior, and you don’t worry about seeming like a crazy ex. Clearly, you aren’t there yet. Trying to establish some sort of friendship with him before you’re ready will backfire and will increase the likelihood of you two truly never speaking to each other again.
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].