Shortcuts: “Should I Propose to my Boyfriend/ Ex-Husband/ Father of my Children?”

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in three sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss popping the question, singles night for a not-so-single guy, and one’s celebrity allow list.

I have been with the same guy for fifteen years we have two kids together. We were married for five years then divorced for one year and have been back together for two years. We live together now and his mom lives with us. He says that he has been thinking of marriage again. I am 32 and he is 31 and I know he’s not the type to propose because he didn’t last time — he just took me to the justice of peace and said we were getting married. I am thinking of proposing to him. Do you think I should? And if he says no do you think I should leave? — Twice Shy

You should take him to the justice of the peace and tell him you’re getting married and if he says no, you should say, “Well, why the hell not? We’ve been together for 15 years, married and divorced already, have two kids together, and your mom lives with us!” And if he still says no, go home and live your life and be happy your kids get to enjoy living with both parents who, although not married, have a good relationship.

Is it normal for my partner to go to singles’ nights with his single mates at the age of 52? Singles nights are discos and drinking where single people go to meet other single people, FYI. — Not a Single

It’s not normal for a partnered person to go to an event where the sole purpose is to meet singles. If he wants to hang with his single friends, I’m sure there are other activities that don’t raise eyebrows as much as this. But then again, “Discos and Drinking” does sound pretty fun, so maybe you should tag along with him and let everyone know your guy is taken.

I’m 50 and with someone my own age and we have an incredible relationship and tremendous chemistry. However (isn’t there always one of those?), it bugs me that she is constantly looking at other men and saying “Mmmmm….” or “yummy” or “nice butt.” I can deal with that, but she also expects me to understand that if she ever had the chance to sleep with certain celebrities, she’d have to. I appreciate that she is open about her attraction to men, but it makes me feel like she’s settling. I am living my fantasy with her, and wouldn’t trade a single moment with her for one with anyone else. I know that sounds silly, but it’s true. Is that a sign of her being unsatisfied with my appearance, or am I supposed to be happy that she is still very sexual at her age? — Not a Celebrity

Telling you she things some random guy looks “yummy” is weird and you should tell her it makes you uncomfortable and ask her to stop. The celebrity thing is something everyone does, right? I mean, don’t you have a “list”? I do! There’s Ryan Gosling, yum, yum, yum. And James Franco, hello. And Lenny Kravitz, hubba, bubba. Brad Pitt still does for me, Missouri pride. Javier Bardem, Hola! And, dear God, I’m so ashamed, but if I were 15 years younger: Nick Jonas. Sick, right? But, mark my words, give him another ten years and ol’ boy’s gonna be freakin’ hot.

Who’s on YOUR list??


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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com.


  1. Hmm LW 3 I agree with you. Personally I don’t need to hear who else my SO finds attractive. I’m aware they find other people attractive I just don’t need to hear it -even celebrities. I save that kind of talk for when I’m around my friends. I find it rude and annoying to hear and frankly makes me feel like I’m not good enough (yes even celebrities) Next time your SO brings something up like that let her know that it really bothers you when she says those things to you especially since she’s your fantasy. I don’t think she’d get mad when you word it like that.

    1. I think it is all about how much it comes up in conversation. Like, I have been with my husband for YEARS so I know his celebrity crushes and what he likes because it comes up every once and awhile. My husband even grew a beard because he knew I liked Joe Magniello from True blood. If this comes up weekly then it is a problem. If it is once and while, I would just let it lie.

    2. SixtyFour says:

      Yeah, I can understand why this guy would find it hurtful for he SO to say these things. He explains it perfectly in his letter: that he understands that she’s going to be attracted to other men, he just doesn’t want to hear about it. He’s not asking her to change how she feels, but just to be respectful of his feelings. And no LW, I don’t think that your SO saying these things means she is dissatisfied with you. She is just physcially attracted to lots of different people, but she is physcially, romantically, sexually and emotionally attracted to you – that’s why she’s with you. If it came up again and you were to say, “you know, I love that you are so connected with your sexuality, but I like to live in ignorant bliss thinking that I’m the man you find most physically attractive” maybe she’d get it.

    3. Yeah, it sounds like she doesn’t realize how much it’s bothering LW3. My boyfriend and I are always doing this (it helps that we’re both bisexual), so it’s kinda a normal thing for some people. I’m sure she doesn’t mean to make you feel bad, and thinks it’s just innocent fun. Just say something next time she does it. She’s with you; I’m sure there’s a reason. :]

  2. I suddenly have the urge to go to a disco to drink and tell people that they are “yummy”. I love these shortcuts today!

    1. Avatar photo lemongrass says:

      You mean you don’t already? Standard tuesday night!

  3. I think your celebrity crushes say ALOT about who you are. I like my guys Big. Think Kellan Lutz or Joe Manganellio ( I had to look up the spelling of that).

    1. pamplemousse says:

      Mmm, Kellan Lutz.

  4. LW3- Your girlfriend sounds incredibly immature and annoying. That said, I would’nt worry about celebrities, those guys are not out to nail some 50 year-old broad.

    1. Your comment rubbed me the wrong way. I don’t think he’s worried about someone coming along and taking her – just that he feels inadequate when told others are sexy etc..

    2. SweetPeaG says:

      Yea, I know what ackgirl is saying.. but I believe she missed the point a bit. (Sorry, just my opinion!)
      ALSO, I hate that as we age, society considers us undesirable. I don’t like that her age was pointed out in that way. “Some 50 year-old broad”… EWW, who would want to have sex with her?!
      At 31, it’s already difficult enough to realize that society thinks my peak of attractiveness was 5 to 10 years ago. So, let’s try to put a stop to that attitude.

      1. That’s exactly what I was getting at! Women shouldn’t be putting each other down like that because one day we’re all going to be 50 (knock on wood).

      2. Also – Geena Davis, Kim Basinger, Michelle Pfeiffer. All gorgeous women over 50. Don’t get me started on over-60 Meryl Streep!! How about “they’ll never meet,” rather than this tired ageism nonsense. Never hear anyone say that about older guys (who, by the way, I find universally revolting – personal preference, what can I say? 😉

      3. I like em all as long as they re big and hairy – which is unlikely under 25 and over 50 but I’m willing to go for outliers 😉

      4. I should qualify big to mean muscular and not fat lol

      5. And a lot of 50-year old men will find you very attractive, but very few 25-year old men will. That’s just life. There also aren’t a ton of 25-year old women falling over themselves to date 50-year old men. Someone who thinks you are super sexy at 25 will likely feel the same way when you’re 50, but his son likely will not. Why is it such a big deal to accept that obvious fact.

  5. #1 on my list… Eddie Cahill (played Jim Craig in Miracle, which means he helped beat the Ruskies — and he now saves people on CSI NY). Dark hair and blue eyes are YUMMY, though it was little awkward when we saw him in person on the streets of LA 🙂 And yes my SO has his list too… nothing wrong with the celebrity crush!

    1. I absolutely find him so sexy! He took one class at my university (I was a student too). And I was the one proctoring the class (college algebra, and the professor was a nice blind lady who I work for 2 years) anyway, he was getting ready for the Miracle movie, so he had long hair. Such a nice looking guy. One secret: I was correcting one of his test and yes I helped a bit on giving him points for some of his answers. DO NOT TELL ANYONE!!!
      I like Matt Bomer from White Collar too, to bad he is also on my best friend list too (his name is JOSH)

  6. LW3’s girlfriend sounds like one of those uncomfortably inappropriate older ladies. Or hilariously inappropriate. Could go either way? But yeah, you have every right to ask her to dial it down.

    My boyfriend & I talk about people we find attractive all the time, but it’s more of a people-watching thing. I’m sure if I was saying things like “Mmmm, I’d like to ride that guy’s face” then he’d be a little upset. You just need to draw some boundries.

    As for the other letters… LW2, maybe your husband is just being a wingman? Did any of his friends recently lose a spouse or get divorced? I can see this maybe being an innocent thing. But Wendy’s right– why don’t you tag along one night?

    LW1: ….sure. Propose to him.

  7. Zac Efron. I don’t care that he’s ten years younger than me. That boy is hot.

    1. I also like the Ryan’s (Gosling and Reynold). Michael Fassbender is a babe. Paul Rudd. Timothy Olyphant. I’m sure there are more.

      1. Ooh, I forgot about Paul Rudd. I should add him to my list.

      2. He gets better and better with age. But I loved him in Clueless.

      3. Hell I even liked him when he was fat and bearded in The Oh in Ohio.

      4. Avatar photo MaterialsGirl says:

        i liked that movie!

      5. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

        I’d take Reynolds over Gosling any day.

  8. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

    Is it weird that Meryl Streep is Numero Uno on my list? I’m in love with her. Others include Tina Fey, Jimmy Kimmel, Brad Pitt (I get it, Wendy, I totally do), Diane Lane (so beautiful, right?), Leonardo DiCaprio (fuck off, I’m loyal, I’ve been with Leo since his days on Growing Pains), and Billy Crudup (oh my I love him so, it was Charlotte Grey that did it to me). There’s more but that is what comes to mind. (Btw, I’m bisexual in my celebrity fantasies, obvs).

    1. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

      I thought of more: Shia Labeouf (I like his face – a perfect combo of boyish *and* manly, somehow), Jon Hamm (duh, and go Missouri go!), Jason Stackhouse (preferably sans shirt – I don’t even know that actors name, i don’t care), and Hope Solo (US goalie – she’s sexy, right? But I heard her talk once and it was a total boner killer).

      1. Unf Hope Solo is totally on my list. Maya Moore is my #1 athlete though.

      2. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

        Oh fuck me I almost forgot about my biggest celebrity crush du jour: Josh Brolin! Actually, a 3-way with Diane would be cool. Though, I know I’d be too intimidated, so maybe they’d just let me watch. Oh, and Elizabeth Banks. I don’t usually go for blondes but I like that actress. She strikes me as smart and with a good personality. The line between my desire to have sex v. be friends with these celebrities is a little fuzzy.

        I have *got* to start working. Stat.

      3. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

        Oh and duh, Rahm Emanuel.

        Ok, *now* I have to get to work. Wendy, now is not a good time for me to be so distracted by celebrity fantasies. I have SOFA KING much work to get out the door before I leave for the weekend.

      4. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:


      5. Dude he’s effing hot. So is Luke Bryan. Acutally, most country singers are. I think I should move to Nashville and pick up an up and coming dude. Seriously.

      6. SweetPeaG says:

        Most country singers are hot. Totally agreed. But, I know part of my love for them are those accents. I can’t help it… I love a Southern country boy accent.

      7. And the plaid shirts. And tight jeans. And scruffy faces. I’m smiling just thinking about it.

      8. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

        I do like all of those things. (Btw, sorry to LW1, LW2, and LW3, I am in celebrity crush mode – can’t offer up my wise advice, which, let’s face it, would just be something about my new sweet boyfriend.)

      9. SweetPeaG says:

        If you move to Nashville and pick up hot up and coming country singers, can you start a blog about your adventures?

      10. For sure! Maybe I’ll post photos of the ones I meet and people can choose. Like a blog bachelor of some sort!?!

      11. the attack says:

        Yes, move to Nashville!! 🙂

      12. Or at least visit!

      13. Avatar photo call-me-hobo says:

        ktfran- come to Nashville! Luke Bryan just had a free concert on the riverfront. There was a sea of bra’s unleashed upon the stage.

      14. I bet. He is one good looking guy. This Nashville idea is sounding better and better.

      15. Avatar photo lemongrass says:

        Toby Keith is on mine! My husband says he has a small dick.

      16. Ooh, I saw Diane Lane on Saturday in Sweet Bird of Desire at the Goodman. Pretty amazing.

        So, AP, she’s in Chicago right now . . . .

      17. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

        I heard she was in town! While here she went to see a play that a friend of mine directed *and* she went to a yoga class that another friend was in. I feel like I’m destined to run into her… I should be ready for that encounter so I know what to say. Remember when Ross blew it with Isabella? Haha.

      18. Yeah, remember not to laminate your list, just in case. 🙂

      19. You never know when Isabella Rosalini might show up!

      20. tbrucemom says:

        And according to Friends you can only have 3 on your list, so here I go:

        1. Jon Bon Jovi
        2. Jensen Ackles (from Supernatural TV series)
        3. Hugh Jackman

      21. I talked to Josh Brolin at an art museum a few years ago (talked as in, he asked me when the next tour was starting) and he’s pretty hot. Shorter than you would think, but hot.

      22. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

        That kind of reminds me of this amazing conversation I had with Hilary Clinton once. I shook her hand and told her I loved her, and she said “thank you” – but, like, in the most sincere voice ever. She may have said “thank you very much” but by then I couldn’t hear anything because I was distracted by the orgasm happening in my pants.

      23. Lol! I she gets that all the time. When I met Kathy Griffin at a book signing, I just went up to her and said “I’m in love with you.” and she’s like “So sweet! Thank you!” and then I go “No…really.” and then she looked weirded out and I was ushered away.

      24. I met Tatiana Ali (Ashley Banks) at a bar I use to work at in Boston, when she went to Harvard, tried to talk to her, but I almost peed my pants, so I just said hi watched her get hammered, and chain smoke! I did talk to Ted Kennedy in NH though, he use to rent a cabin at this place across the street my parents house in NH. I bet you girls would have loved to get a piece of that ass.

  9. Is it just me or is it really weird for a guy to randomly take his girlfriend to the justice of the peace and tell her they are getting married as if she doesn’t have a choice? That would freak me out a lot. A gentleman is supposed to ask for a woman’s hand in marriage, not demand it.

    No, it’s not normal for people in relationships to go to singles events or to tell their SO which random guys on the street have nice asses. The whole celebrity thing is pretty innocent because honestly what are the chances that a super hot rich celebrity is going to be interested in an average-looking middle class person? Or even be around middle class people ever? IMO, people of the same socioeconomic class can be perceived as a much bigger threat than celebrity crushes because they’re far more attainable. And on top of my list is Channing Tatum. Yum.

  10. I guess I must be in the minority that thinks it’s ok to talk about people you are attracted to with your SO. To me it’s funny and a good chance to tease (playfully). For instance, my SO is really attracted to Floor Jansen and I tease him about it saying that I guess he has to be a Nightwish fan now, haha (he used to really hate Nightwish).

    Anyways, I think that people who do this do it because they are comfortable with and trust their significant others! Either way, if it hurts someone’s feelings, then it’s disrespectful and shouldn’t be done. And in a healthy relationship, you have to speak up and say something if you don’t like what your SO is doing.

    1. No, I’m with you. My S/O & I like talking about it together because it’s fun and interesting. We’ll even send each other celeb pictures of people we know the other likes. No big deal! It can definitely be done in an obnoxious way though, I guess, which is why the guy in the letter is bothered.

    2. Arturo and I joke about it all the time, we each know the others crushes, so when we see a movie with any of them the kidding begins.

    3. I guess it’s a preference thing. The thing is both parties should be comfortable with it and in this case they’re not

    4. Avatar photo lemongrass says:

      The entire time my husband and I watched LOST (which really, was about a week or two but felt like 3 years slipped by) I told him how much I would totally do Jack. My sisters were saying “really? You said that? But Sawyer is so hot!” My husband would tease me about it- it didn’t make him feel insecure (I asked!) Although he doesn’t ever comment on women or check them out in front of me, I’m more likely to say how pretty a woman is. He usually just says he prefers me.

      1. SweetPeaG says:

        LOL… I would do Jack as well. But, Sawyer is indeed, where it’s at (see my below post about my adoration of that man). But, I’d also do Sayid. Apparently, if I were on the island, I’d be getting around quite a bit.

      2. Hahahaha. I freaking love them. I hadn’t seen this one.

      3. SweetPeaG says:

        I love Garfunkel and Oates.
        Add them to my celebrity crush list.

      4. Man, Sayid was sexy!! His scenes with Shannon were so steamy!

      5. I prefer Jack to Sawyer… Blond guys don’t do it for me.

      6. SweetPeaG says:

        Usually, I don’t go for blondes either. However, I have a secret problem where I love the annoying cliche of bad boy with a heart of gold. Ugh… I know. He just made me want to love him. Plus, his character was pretty hilarious. And the muscles.

        But, I do hear the Jack thing. He is very handsome.

      7. Jack? No, Sayid is where it’s at.

      8. YES!!! I loved Sayid.

      9. SweetPeaG says:

        For the record, I did state above that I’d also do Sayid 😉

    5. the attack says:

      We do it to an extent too. I know about all of his middle school sex dreams about Ginger Spice, and he knows I want to get busy with my favorite Lord of the Rings character. But I don’t think it means anyone’s insecure if they don’t want to hear about it. I can’t tolerate hearing about his previous sex partners, but it’s not like I’m afraid they’re coming back, ya know? The mental picture is worse than the knowledge.

    6. I can see maybe discussing people sometimes. My gentleman friend seems to think he’s really fantastic at determining which men are attractive or not, so he likes to compare thoughts. But I think sitting around and randomly declaring someone “yummy” is weird because it’s like you’re thinking aloud instead of having a fun conversation with your SO.

  11. Yeah, I totally know my gf’s list of celebrities. Sometimes it’s a little weird because a lot of them (all of them?) are dudes, but I pretty well get over it.

    We also have a joke list that is guys I like (I’m gay, she’s bi) that’s based on the guys I used to have crushes on. Number one on the list? Phil Kessel from the Toronto Maple Leafs. My gf actually got me his tshirt for my birthday this year and I’m wearing it now, lol.

  12. Adam Levine, Matt Bomer (I dont’ care if he’s gay. He’s SMOKIN’), Brad Pitt (from Fight Club times, not currently) and if I’m going Bi for celebs, like AP, then Marissa Miller (the Victoria’s Secret model).

  13. Hmm. My main celeb crushes are George Clooney and Robbie WIlliams. There are a lot of others that I might find hot occasionally, but they are the only two I love consistently.

  14. My celebrity crush is Method Man. I STILL think he’s sexy as hell.

    1. Oh and Lance Gross, even though I’ve never watched whatever that Tyler Perry show is that he’s on.

  15. LW 3…the best part of your letter is this line: “I am living my fantasy with her, and wouldn’t trade a single moment with her for one with anyone else”…that is so sweet…i would kill to have a guy say that to me…as for your problem, it bothers me to when you are with someone and the check out other people in your presence (i think it is disrespectful personally)…i know everyone fantasizes but geeze that is an inside thought! the celebrity crushes are normal too and a lot less threatening…maybe tell your girlfriend it bothers you…if she still does it…well then you have a decision to make (do you want to be treated like that? if not find someone who will treat you the way you treat them)

  16. Yeah, Wendy and I have the same rules for LW3’s sitch. My boyfriend and I don’t comment on other people on the street we find attractive as a respect thing (although sometimes I’ll point out a girl and go “Holy Hell, her boobs are GIANT” as a novelty because this is LA), but its open season with celebrities. Except we kinda like, cater? our celebrity crushes to fit the other person a little. Like my boyfriend has a crush on Christina Hendricks which is cool with me because she’s crrrvy and I LOVE HER TOO but he wouldn’t tell me if he liked someone really brunette and petite like Kirsten Stewart or Mila Kunis, who aren’t his taste anyway (A true 80’s kid, he likes them blond and busty with neon lyrca). Likewise, I like classic looking guys with broad shoulders like Idris Elba, Jon Hamm, Michael Fassbender, Daniel Craig. etc etc. which works because my boyfriend has a classic guy with broad shoulders feel to him.

    I also sent him the leaked naked pics of Christina Hendricks and Scar Jo when they came out, and he sent me those close up shots of Jon Hamm freeballing it (like I hadn’t seen them already). Love in the age of technology people.

    1. As an 80’s kid Kelly Kapowski, and Sam Micelli should be his top 2! After that he can work in the 90210 girls, the Charles in Charge girls, and Six from Blossom. Oh Crap forgot about Kelly Bundy! and the girls from California Dream. There is just to many! But yeah those should be his top 2! Then after that he can get into these extra hot new girls like Mila, and Natalie Portman. There are actually way to many hot celebrities to keep track of now a days. Aunt Becky, have mercy! Can’t stop thinking about them now!

      1. He LOVES Kelly Kapowski. He’ll send me links to that Bayside Tigers ripped sweatshirt she wore and I’m like, yeah, no, send me some Jessie clothes. He also get’s very sad when he sees Pamela Andersen now so I’m guessing Baywatch was a big hit.

      2. Yeah it kills me to see Pam that way! Oh and good fun fact she was on an episode of Married with Children in one of Al’s fantasies! I love Jessie Spano, and Lisa Turtle too, but Kelly is just the shit! I think Alyssa Milano though is ever kid from the 80’s number one fantasie.

      3. OMG SBTB couples costume idea: The most hated characters: Tori and Jeff.

        I think if I had to guess, my bf’s favorite 80’s crush was either the girl from Weird Science or the chick riding that car in the Whitesnake video.

      4. Haha that would be the best costume ever! or Nerdstrom, and Hound dog!

  17. Skyblossom says:

    LW1 You don’t get married because you’ve been together for 15 years or because you’ve already been married once or because you have two kids together or because his mom lives with you.

    You get engaged and married because you are fully, totally committed to spending the rest of your life together. You get married because the commitment is already there; you are so committed that if marriage didn’t exist you would still spend your life together. So if you feel that committed then propose. If you don’t then continue as you are because it is good for your kids as long as it is stable.

  18. SweetPeaG says:

    No advice- everyone else is covering it.

    My “list”-
    Josh Holloway (“Sawyer” for anyone that was a LOST fan… it’s the character I think I’d want to sleep with, not the actor. LOST has been over for a while now, and I am still totally smitten).
    David Beckham (he is male physical perfection. If you’re going to have a celebrity list like this, might as well aim for the top).
    Adam Levine, just because… look at him. And he actually seems like a nice person from what I have seen on the Voice (shut up, yea, I watch that and love it).
    And, if anyone has ever watched the show “Hell on Wheels” (so underrated… watch it!), the guy on there, Anson Mount. But again, it would have to be him as that character. Scruffy bad ass cowboy. I saw a picture of him clean shaven and it didn’t hold a candle to his scruffy look.

    1. Avatar photo lemongrass says:

      You can have Sawyer. I want Jack! With all that saving he does, you know he wouldn’t give up!

    2. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

      David Beckham *is* male perfection — good call on that one.

      1. His pecs are too little!! I don’t like them. Also he has teeny tiny nips. I dont like that either.

      2. As long as he doesn’t speak. Ugh.

      3. Right!? He sounds like a Monty Python sketch!

    3. I used to hate Maroon 5 before I watched the Voice. Now I would totally do Adam Levine. He does seem like a sweetheart…plus, all of those tattoos? yum.

      1. SweetPeaG says:

        Exactly. I think he is very talented, but I always imagined him to be a douche. On the show? He doesn’t seem at all full of himself. And he is always saying sweet things.

        If we are talking the Voice, I am adding Blake Shelton. He’s so tall and manly. And when you add in the goofy sense of humor? Sexyness.

  19. yeah i agree that the doing it to other random people on the street is kind of off putting. i would definitely say something if it made me uncomfortable.

    that being said my celebrity list is: adam levine ( i love the voice too sweetpeag!), ashton kutcher (I KNOW! but he wouldn’t have to talk), and kevin costner.

  20. I like ’em large and hairy – I love Kahl Drogo from Game of Thrones, Joe Mangianello, Wolverine (I know its hugh jackman but he seems so less manly for some reason in his other movies), daniel craig (I know he’s not hairy but there’s something about him) and if we are allowed to go into the realm of cartoons then the Beast from beauty and the beast

    1. the attack says:

      I don’t think the cartoon thing is weird, but the fur certainly is. Haha

      1. haha not the fur! Just the largeness and how he loves her so much. Gaston is large but is a cowardly loser

      2. I have a thing for hairy guys, too. Never thought about Beast from Beauty & the Beast until one of my exes made fun of my preferences by saying something “You’d probably do– BEAST!” And I was like, “Hmm…yeah. Yeah, probably.”

    2. If we’re talking about cartoons, it’s Aladdin all the way for me.

      1. Oh eff yeah. Prince Eric too.

      2. Prince Eric is my favorite. Hands down.

  21. Avatar photo lemongrass says:

    Jack from Lost, Will Arnett, Toby Keith, Paul Rudd….

    1. YES to Will Arnett.

      1. I love him in Up All Night. So funny.

      2. Avatar photo lemongrass says:

        Lets Go to Prison FTW

  22. I’m not sure if I have an official “list” but off the top of my head, I’d say BRANDON FLOWERS, Jensen Ackles + Jared Padalecki (together), Adam Brody (I like ’em nerdy), and Johnny Depp.

    1. Avatar photo MaterialsGirl says:

      I just have to comment and LOVE your brandon flowers call out.

      have you seen the “im a morman” ad?

  23. Oh so many celebrity crushes… some of my top crushes include Ryan Reynolds, Tom Welling, Chris & Liam Hemsworth, Keith Urban, David Miller (from Il Divo), and Sean Berdy if I were much, much younger.

  24. llclarityll says:

    1) Sidney Crosby (let’s go PENS!)

    2) the french guy from “Unfaithful”

    3) Jared Leto (the old Jared Leto, not the goth one)


    1. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

      Oh oh oh don’t get me started on how hot it would be to watch that french guy and Diane Lane go at it. It was hot enough in that movie – and that was with Richard Gere’s sad stupid face popping up in the next scenes – Richard Gere is a lady boner killer.

      1. I once had a guy friend tell me that when I laughed, I looked and sounded exactly like Diane Lane in that scene where the french guy’s first rubbing her body and she’s doing that weird twitching seizure thing :(. Richard Gere is the worst though. I remember watching Runaway Bride like “How are you making Julia Roberts ugly? Do you have some dark Buddist magic?!”

      2. llclarityll says:

        That movie is like porn. Better than porn. Richard Gere is always fing everything up. Way to kill the hot guy and steal the show.

      3. Avatar photo theattack says:

        Really? He was pretty sexy in Pretty Woman. He’s definitely not sexy now though

      4. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

        Yea, no, I have never thought Richard Gere was attractive. *Maybe* when he was in An Officer and a Gentleman but that was actually Debra Winger whom I found sexy with her raspy voice.

      5. Can I tell you that when I was in my 20’s the trashier the celebritie the more I liked her, because I though if I actually met her at a bar and she was hammered, I would have a chance!

  25. rangerchic says:

    Rob Lowe….Hugh Jackman…Daniel Craig, I also kind of like Liam Neeson (SP?), I like his movies (well some not all). I guess I like mostly older actors but I’ve always been attracted to older guys. And they all have dark hair and my husband has light brown/blonde hair – go figure!

    1. You’ve heard the rumors about Liam Neeson right? 😉

  26. seven7three says:

    My list is pretty lengthy:


    Joseph Gordon-Levitt
    Kevin McKidd & Jesse Williams (both from Grey’s)
    Eddie McClintock
    Niall Matter (Zane from Eureka)
    David Giuntoli (Watch Grimm…)
    Zachary Levi
    Nathan Fillion & Adam Baldwin
    Jon Huertas & Seamus Dever (Both from Castle)
    Matt Bomer
    Sharif Atkins
    Taylor Kitsch
    Michael B. Jordan (Friday Night Lights)
    Jamil Walker Smith
    Omar Epps
    John Cho
    Gale Harold
    Gael García Bernal
    Donald Glover

    That about covers it. Maybe?

    1. ZOMG, JGL and Nathan Fillion, YES. You saw Joseph Gordon Levitt doing the Magic Mike dance, right? I’m not even kidding, I teared up it made me so happy.

      1. I actually never thought JGL could be sexy until I saw those gifs.

      2. I didn’t know what beauty was until I saw those gifs.

      3. Here’s this just in case because MOTHER OF GOD

      4. seven7three says:

        You have no idea how many times I’ve looked at that gif…:D
        He’s amazingly hot. And funny! And he can sing!

      5. Oh my. I feel dirty for having clicked on that at work & studying every single one 😉 And usually he doesn’t even do it for me!

      6. Eh, I liked his opening monologue the last time he was on SNL better. That really impressed me! It’s amazing to see what that little kid from ‘Angels in the Outfield’ has become!

    2. seven7three says:

      Oh…I nearly forgot one of the most beautiful creatures to walk this earth, PAUL NEWMAN. Oh lordy, that man was easy on the eyes.

  27. My *current* celebrity fantasy is to be the middle of a Daniel Craig/Robert Downey, Jr. sandwich.

  28. Avatar photo theattack says:

    My list is pretty simple:

    Gerard Butler!! He’s pure sex. I need him.
    Viggo Mortensen, but pretty much only when he’s playing Aragorn in the LOTR movies. This is partially because I’m in love with Aragorn as a fictional character and partially because he can pull off that scruffy look so well!
    Sofia Vergara. I think if it’s possible to have a perfect body, she does.

    1. llclarityll says:

      OMG i forgot about Ryan Reynolds. I’d trade in all others for him. Every single friggin guy on this sexy planet.

    2. llclarityll says:

      Oops sorry, that was not to be a reply, theattack. However — Sofia Vergara wins on the sexy lady front.

    3. Yes to Aragorn. Viggo doesn’t usually do it for me but as him he so definitely does!

      1. Totally agree! I was so sad when I saw Viggo in another movie and he was nowhere near as hot as Aragorn!

      2. Have you seen him in Unfaithful with Diane Lane? He is HOT in that movie!

  29. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:


    My boyfriend just texted: “Boo, just 6.5 hrs until I get to kiss yr face off [Btw, I think I’m rubbing off on him – I say that!] n hug u 4 our entire 30 min train ride home.”

    Seriously, I scored a MAJOR jackpot with this sweet and charming texter! Seriously. I can’t believe I entertained crushes on and actually thought “oh, maybe [insert some teeny, tiny microscopic act of seeming interest] means he likes me!” for all those buffoons in the past. This guy shows his interest in much CLEARER ways! *And* I like it.

    Ok, that’s all, carry on. 🙂

    1. That is friggin adorable.

      1. Note I’m not so secretly jealous.

  30. I am compleetely in love with Shemar Moore from Crimnial Minds! That man is pure perfection. Also love David Beckham, The Rock – yes, the wrestler (sweet jeebus he is delicious), Vin Diesel and Denzel! That beautiful Denzel just gets better with age!

    1. Avatar photo call-me-hobo says:

      whewwee- did you see him in diary of a mad black woman?

      1. OMG YES!!!! I also saw him in a play here in MD years ago. He couldn’t get a word out of his mouth before all the ladies in the audience started screaming their collective heads off! I don’t think I heard a word he said, but it was soooooo good to watch him (we had 3rd row seats!).

  31. Laura Hope says:

    Any random guy just walking down the street in Italy.

  32. Is it wrong that Matt Bomer is at the top of my list even though I know he’s gay? But then Joe Manganiello is #2 so maybe that makes up for it. 🙂

  33. In college I crossed one off my list. (not the list I said above). On the next deleted thread day I will tell you guys about it 🙂

    1. You´d better wait til I´m on the thread. I always miss out on the juicy stuff. 🙂 Better yet, PM me on FB now!

      1. I’ll make sure you’re in the know!

    2. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

      Shut the fuck up. Who? Who? Wendy, we need this weekend open thread to be a confessions open thread!

      I’m taking bets now – I bet he was a musician. Now, *which* musician is slutty enough to have sex with a groupee. …. Too many come to mind. Going on a limb: it was a DMB member.

      1. Hahaha! I wish!!

  34. Avatar photo bittergaymark says:

    LW1) WWS. Nothing else to say… She nailed this one so thoroughly.

    LW2) Gee, you sure sound like fun. No wonder he is out trying to meet somebody else.

    LW3) Your concern about celebrities here is quite valid. Its a well known fact that the world’s hottest male celebrities do run around banging 50 year old fans every chance they get…

    1. Avatar photo MaterialsGirl says:

      c’mon BGM.. give us your celeb list

      1. Avatar photo bittergaymark says:

        It’s embarrassingly long… I’m a celebrity slut, I guess. In order.

        1) Jude Law (especially as he looked in (THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY)
        2) Morietz Bleibtreu (Manni in RUN LOLA RUN)
        3) Vince Vaughn (post much needed diet?)
        4) Jeremy Renner
        5 & 6) James Franco and his even hotter younger brother Dave. (together or separately)
        7) Sam Cockwell er ROCKWELL
        8) George Clooney
        9) Matthew Bomer
        10) Justin Thereaux

  35. Avatar photo MaterialsGirl says:

    Alright heres my list

    Brandon Flowers (crazy brandon.. with the jacket)
    Ryan Reynolds
    Brad Pitt
    Idris Elba
    Colin Firth
    Ryan Lochte with a duct taped mouth

  36. Laura Hope says:

    bittergaymark, you are hysterical!

  37. Laura Hope says:

    I gotta tell all you young girls. I’m 52 and I get hit on all the time by young guys (yes, even in their 20’s). It makes me want to laugh and tell them I could be their mother. But I don’t respond. I just feel good for the rest of the day. Trust me, it’s not over in your 50’s! Not to worry.

  38. GirlOnFire says:

    Jensen Ackles aka Dean Winchester on Supernatural. (I would never get enough of him…)

    Brandon Flowers

    Taylor Lautner

    Cillian Murphy

    Chris Evans

  39. I’m with LW3. I don’t get the whole freebie 5 concept. If you’re happy with your partner, why would you want to sleep with some random celebrity? I guess it’s supposed to be fun, but I don’t find it fun to think up a list of people who I’d cheat on my spouse with. Actually there are no people who I’d cheat on my spouse with, so my list would be empty anyway.

    1. they’re part of a fantasy, not real life. it’s not a list of people you’d actually cheat on your spouse with but another way to fantasize with your spouse about sex.

      1. I guess. I understand that people with these lists aren’t actually planning on cheating on their spouses. I just can’t even think about it for pretend. Do you remember that movie Indecent Proposal, and how after Demi Moore slept with Robert Redford, her relationship with Woody Harrelson went to shit? I just always think about that kind of situation, even if you slept with someone else with your spouse’s blessing, it would ruin the relationship. I can’t separate the probable outcome from the action, even in fantasy.

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