It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss cheating, disclosing secrets, and dating on a tight budget.
With the exception of that week he was distant, he’s been great and we have lots of fun together. I believe what prompted this confession was that his feelings for me were deepening and he wanted to make things right, so to say. He’s apologized countless times, said he’ll do anything to make things right and wants to make this work. He’s everything I’ve been looking for and before this confession, I really saw a long-term future with him. What should I do? — The New Girlfriend
If you truly saw a long-term future with him, even though it sounds like you barely know him and just ended a 4-year relationship with someone else, I wouldn’t let a date and one kiss with someone else a few weeks after you met stand in your way. It was stupid of him to ask you to be his girlfriend when he still needed to go out with someone else to make sure he was into you, and it wasn’t the most emotionally responsible move for you to accept his offer if you hardly knew him and possibly hadn’t yet fully processed your recent breakup, but, what the hell — if you and he have fun together, keep getting to know him and see where things lead. I wouldn’t, however, put a deposit down on a wedding venue just yet.
The question should be: do you want to tell him, and, if so, why? If your motive is to be open about something you consider an important tidbit of information that paints a broader picture of who you are, then, by all means, tell him when you decide you trust him enough to share something that personal. If you think have an obligation to tell him, I’d wait until you have a better reason to share that part of your personal history and it doesn’t feel so raw.
I’m a person who can’t do the same thing all the time. I told him that I felt bored, and he said he didn’t have money and energy and he is tired when we hang out. Thanks for your suggestions. — Modern Woman
So, he picks you up for work, takes you out for burgers, and cooks for you once a week? What do you do for him? If you’re so tired of doing the same things all the time and if your boyfriend is on a tight budget, here’s a novel idea: YOU make some plans and foot the bill every once in a while. Here are 52 cheap date ideas to get you started.
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