It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
NO! Do not tell this woman anything. Their relationship is really none of your business. You don’t know how serious they are, whether they’re exclusive, whether they have an agreement to sleep with other people, etc. Furthermore, you developed feelings for the guy you slept with and he, essentially, rejected you and wasn’t forthright about his relationship with this other woman, so I find it hard to believe your motives for “telling on him,” so to speak, are 100% altruistic. Instead of getting involved in a a lot of potential drama, I’d suggest finding another gym to work out in for the time being (or changing the time you go to your current gym) so that you don’t have to see this guy and the very nice woman he’s dating.
Why on earth would you want to marry someone who treats you like shit, has zero trust in you, makes you sad all the time, and with whom you want things to change? Obviously, end this relationship now and just enjoy being 18 and in college where there are SO many people to meet and get to know. But, more importantly, adjust your idea of what you think marriage material is, because there is absolutely no reason you should ever be discussing marriage, even in a far-off dreamy way, with anyone who doesn’t just make your world a hundred times brighter and has you wondering how you ever got so lucky to find and fall in love with someone who is such a fantastic match for you.
The girl you love may very well love you back, despite cheating on you, but, with both of you recovering from drug addiction, which is an intense and long road, it would be wise to keep romantic drama to a minimum. I think you can love and support each other as friends for now and put your relationship on the back burner until you have a little more recovery under your belts, can re-build trust between you, and can feel like there’s enough distance from past mistakes to gamble on romantic love again (and it’s always a gamble, no matter how true you feelings are and how pure your intentions).
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].