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In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
The, about six months ago, I met someone and totally fell hard. Rich Guy was travelling all the time, we weren’t exclusive, and it just happened. He was the nicest, most honest and loving guy I’d ever met and I felt like I’d won the lottery. Things were amazing for a few months. Unfortunately, every now and again, I’d get in touch with Rich Guy and my boyfriend would find out every time. He’d be obviously very upset and I’d promise to never do it again, only to give Rich Guy a call again a few weeks later.
All of our calls are platonic, but we’ve gotten to know each other very well since I started dating Nice Guy, and I know now that Rich Guy has serious feelings for me. We know each other inside and out. We tell each other everything. I feel like I connect with him on a different level than I’ve ever connected before with someone, and I know he honestly feels the same way. He is one of those people that I will know for life.
Nice Guy is still nice, but things are slacking. Anything I ever tell him I don’t like, he says he will change and honestly tries to, but we just aren’t on the same level for a lot of things. He is a spender, I am a saver. He professionally isn’t where I am, and I think it bugs both of us, but in the past six months he hasn’t done much to advance. It would literally kill him if we broke up, but sometimes I feel like I’m staying with him just to make sure I don’t end up alone or with someone who cheats on me. His family is amazing, we get along really well, and I could totally see myself fitting in there, but something is just missing.
It breaks my heart to even picture leaving him, but I think of someone else *every day*. We live together and leaving will be hard (I know…only six months isn’t long enough for that, but what can I say?); But I feel like something is missing and I don’t want to regret not trying with someone that I have extreme chemistry with. What should I do? — Torn Between Rich Guy & Nice Guy