Soon enough, he was whisked off by a friend and I didn’t expect to see him again as he was flying back to Australia the next day. But later that evening he showed up at the ice cream shop where I work. I was incredibly surprised to see him and, encouraged a bit, I added him on Facebook the next day. Since then, he’s spoken to me online nearly every day. Not only that, but he’s made it very clear that he makes very good money – we’re talking six figures – and emphasizes his intentions to move to the States once he’s saved up enough money to buy a house, and that he wants to settle down with someone here. He also seems to visit the States fairly often, and has encouraged me to visit Australia.
I really liked this guy and I think we hit it off from the moment we met, but I’m worried I’m misreading things. Do guys normally talk about their salary with girls they’re interested in? I’ve never been with a guy who had worldly assets to brag about, to be honest. And if he does like me, should I pursue this? Yes, he plans on moving here within the next couple years, but in the meantime, we’re dealing with a 15-hour timezone difference.
I’ve always said I’d be willing to work with a long distance relationship, and I don’t want to miss out if we have a connection, but I don’t want to be the one to bring it up if he’s not interested enough. I come from a pretty traditional background, so I’d prefer for him to make the first move, but I’m worried that he will think the distance makes it not even worth talking about. I guess I’m just hoping for your take on the situation. — Outback Crush
You met this guy for one evening — a quick conversation around a group of people and then a surprise visit at your place of employment — and you’re now thinking about launching a (very) long distance relationship?? You might want to cool your jets. There’s nothing wrong with continuing an online friendship with the guy — even flirting a little — but until he plans another visit to your neck of the woods, you’d be wise to keep things strictly platonic, date a little closer to home, and not get wound up with a virtual stranger who lives on the other side of the world.
As for his salary, I wouldn’t necessarily say “six figures” is wealthy. Depending on what number those six figures starts with and where a person lives (like, say, New York City or many other urban environments) and how many people it’s supporting, that could be very average salary — comfortable, sure, but nothing to get your panties wet over. And even if he were wealthy, so what? I mean: A) It’s tacky that he’s mentioned his salary to someone he barely knows. And B) Just, gross. People who lead with that kind of thing rarely have much else to offer, I’ve found.
I would not pursue a LDR with this guy at this point. If he makes plans to come to your area in the near future, then by all means, get together. But fantasizing about anything beyond that at this point would be very premature.
Beware the charming foreign man who brags about his money, discusses how much he wants to move to the States, and how he would love to “settle down” with someone as soon as he gets here. Even if he has a little money in the bank, you have something potentially much more valuable to him than that: American citizenship. Don’t underestimate the manipulation some men will pull for a piece of that action.