My currently dilemma is that, more than a year after everything happened, she added me on Skype and I decided to accept her to find out what she wants. But I don’t know what to do in this situation: Should I tell her the reasons I don’t want the friendship anymore, including the effects she had on my relationship? Should I just say I don’t feel like being her friend anymore and not give any reason? Or should I ignore her?
I want her away from me (we already live in different cities, and soon in different countries), with no contact at all and I want her aware of it, so she stops trying to contact me. But I don’t want to expose everything that happened in my relationship. — Anxious Girl
You slept with someone else before you and your boyfriend were exclusive and you: a) blame your former friend for that decision?; and b) told your boyfriend all about it?; and c) have spent over a year trying to work through it together? You know what, it’s not the friend here who’s the problem. It’s you. You need to take responsibility for your actions, quit blaming them on other people, and maybe consider that, if after a whole year, you and your boyfriend are still working through something that happened before you two were even exclusive, perhaps your issues run deeper than that one incident. Maybe he’s not the right match for you? Maybe there was some truth in what your friend said (or you worried that there was some truth in it) and you didn’t like hearing it and THAT’s why you dumped her?
And about that: Look, if in a whole year this Skype invitation was the first time she tried to contact you after you dumped her with zero explanation, and so far she hasn’t even really contacted you, I wouldn’t worry that this is someone who is going to continue bothering you indefinitely. Honestly, it sounds like you’re just looking for drama where there isn’t any. But, okay, if you want to ensure she gets the message and doesn’t bother you ever again, delete her from your Skype and send her a brief message saying that you have moved on and no longer wish to hear from her because you find her to be a bad influence on you and you blame her for decisions you regret. Pretty sure you won’t hear from her again after that unless it’s a brief response saying: WTF?
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