What would be your reason for telling him? To get emotional support? To guilt him into staying with you? To lend a more serious tone to your several-weeks-long relationship? Deciding for yourself what reaction you might want or expect will help you decide whether or not to tell him. If it’s emotional support you want, your best bet is probably to talk to a close friend rather than a guy you’ve been “sorta dating for several weeks” who isn’t ready to start anything with you. If you think the news of your miscarriage will somehow change things between you for the better, you’re probably in for a disappointment.
It’s probably also important to realize that very early miscarriages, which I’m assuming yours was since you hadn’t even gotten a positive pregnancy test yet, are very common. Some estimates suggest that up to 50% of all conceptions end in miscarriage, if you count “chemical pregnancies,” which are those that are lost shortly after implantation occurs, or roughly right around the time a woman’s period is due or a few days afterward. If a woman doesn’t test herself or doesn’t get a positive pregnancy test, she may think her miscarriage is nothing more than a heavy period.
None of this is to say you aren’t warranted in feeling some mixed emotions; I just also want you to be aware that what you’re going through is fairly common and probably not the result of anything you did or didn’t do. It’s just biology. So, if part of your mixed emotions include guilt, you should let that go. Let it go not because the guy you were sleeping with says it’s okay to, but because aside from not getting pregnant in the first place, there was nothing you could have done to prevent what happened. And if part of your mixed emotions include relief, that’s perfectly understandable, too. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or that you won’t be blessed with a healthy pregnancy one day when you’re ready for it. Just be more careful in the meantime and use multiple forms of birth control.
*If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, send me your letters at [email protected].