If you’re a skinny, white redhead with a sexual past as exciting and exotic as carton of yogurt and you happen to be looking for a goofy-looking, wedding photographer who, oh yeah, is a raging racist, you’re in luck!! Larry Busby, aka “Sleepless in Austin,” is searching for his Ms. Right and he’s willing to pay 1500 smackers to anyone who can help find her. He just has a few criteria she must meet.
First of all, she must be thin and young.
I am looking for a girl that has a thin or athletic build. No one over 130lbs. Ages 21 – 41 White, Hispanic, or of European descent.
That means no black women! Not even if she’s drop-dead gorgeous.
I will not date a Black girl. I don’t care if she looks like Halle Berry, I will not ever date a Black girl. And, I do not believe that Whites & Blacks should mix races sexually and have kids together. I think it’s ok for Whites & Hispanics. But not Blacks. I would NEVER, EVER, EVER date a woman if I found out she had EVER been sexually active with a Black man.
If you’re white but have poor eyesight or tattoos, sorry, sucker.
I do not like glasses on a girl.
I do not like tattoos on a woman…To me, tattoos just represent white trash or somone that’s been in prison.
I do not like strippers! I will not date any girl that has ever been a stripper.
I prefer a woman that has never had children, because having kids does ruin a womans body often times.
Now, if you are white, young, thin, kid-free, don’t have any trashy tattoos, and have never removed your clothes for money, you’re in luck. That is, as long as you haven’t slept around. Because ol’ Larry will not date anyone who “has ever had a threesome, or a large number of past sexual partners” as he isn’t interested in “a promiscuous slut”. He does, however love “when a girl wears sexy lingerie in the bedroom! Especially thigh highs!”
If Larry picks you, in addition to all the aforementioned charm, you can enjoy being with “an Artist, Musician, Poet, Composer, Performer, Businessman” who has a “very high sex drive.”
Any takers? Anyone??
On the plus side, Larry is no longer trying online dating because the women online proved to be too discriminating. Ironically.
[via Huffpo and GOMI]