“Without Woman A or Woman B, you can still have a rich and full life ahead of you. You don’t even have to have a long-term relationship to enjoy the second half of your life although there is certainly something to be said for the companionship and care and love such a relationship provides.”
I found this answer surprising!
If you don’t have a long-term relationship in the second half of your life (say after 45) isn’t it boring or lonely? Very lonely? What do you do if you don’t have a long-term relationship after 45? I’d love to hear your answer.
Things You Can Do if You Don’t Have a Long-Term Relationship (after 45 or whenever), a partial list:
1. Buy some cheap land in a remote area and turn it into a refuge for retired greyhounds.
2. Maybe adopt a kid or two and devote a big chunk of your time and energy to single parenting.
3. Or just get a dog or a cat or a pot-bellied pig.
4. Or maybe no animals. Just be free of responsibility if you want.
5. I mean, you don’t have to answer to anyone!!
6. Wanna go to Greece next year? Fuckin’ do it! You don’t have a partner telling you he’d rather spend your vacation time in Montecarlo.
7. And you know what you can do while you’re in Greece? Hook up with some hot Greeks.
8. Or maybe when you get to Greece, you’ll be like, “Eh! One can only eat so much baklava and enjoy beautiful beaches; I’m ready for a change of scenery.” And then you can hightail it over to Istanbul for a few days.
9. Because Turkish men. (Or women. Whatever floats your boat.)
10. Or if you don’t want to travel alone, organize a friends trip.
11. Remember friends?
12. You know, those other people you hopefully have in your life even if you don’t have a signifiant other?
13-17. Friends are awesome. You can spend birthdays together and Thanksgivings and you can go dancing and to museums and watch the fireworks from their rooftop decks on the Fourth of July.
18. You can learn some new skills. Take a pottery class.
19. Or a salsa dancing class.
20. Or learn to make beautiful embroideries.
21. Get really good at it and sell your stuff at art fairs and on Etsy.
22. Or give your work away to your friends.
23. You have friends, right?
24. Make some friends!
25. Here are some tips on how to make friends.
25. You can also give your stuff away to strangers. Like, if you knit, you can knit hats for chemo patients or blankets for homeless people.
26. Basically, what I’m saying is that you can use your skills and talents to send little ripples of love and compassion through the world.
27. If there’s something you want to watch on TV, go ahead and watch it. And if there’s something you don’t want to watch — like, I don’t know, the sixth 4-hour Yankee game of a playoff series, you don’t have to watch it. Which is pretty cool.
28. Is there a new movie out that sounds good? Go see it. Maybe it’s like a chick flick or, you know, something that, if you had a significant other, he or she wouldn’t want to watch. That’s ok, because you don’t, and you don’t have to compromise on what movie you watch, so go see the schmaltzy one if you want.
29. Do you have all your debt paid off? That’s wonderful – congrats!
30. That has nothing to do with whether or not you have a significant other (except, of course, if you don’t have a significant other, you don’t have someone else’s debt to deal with); it’s just such a wonderful thing to have your debt paid off and I wanted to take this opportunity to congratulate you.
31. You could road trip across the whole United States and never have to worry about your partner needing to stop at a gross rest stop or out of the way McDonald’s to pee because you don’t have a partner. Congrats on that!
32. I don’t know who you’re going to spend the holidays with, but I know who you WON’T spend them with and that would be your Republican, Trump-loving in-laws because you don’t have any in-laws, and that’s kind of wonderful, no?
33. I’ll say it again just because it warrants a second mention: NO TRUMP-LOVING IN-LAWS.
34. I mean, that in itself is a pretty good reason to stay the fuck single.
35. Did I already mention hot Greeks you could hook up with if you wanted to?
36. Or hot Italians.
37. Or hot, I don’t know, Ohioans.
38. Like, why don’t people from Ohio get more love?
39. Maybe you could move to Ohio.
40. I don’t really know what’s there, but I’ve met some nice people who grew up in Ohio so it’s probably an ok place.
41. Take up floral design.
42. Swim the English Channel.
43. Or just take the Chunnel, which is awesome.
44. You can get from London to Paris in like two hours! It’s so great.
45. Once you get to Paris, you can eat the whole baguette and not share with anyone because there isn’t an anyone.
46. Hot Parisians.
47. I think you’re probably getting the point now, right?
48. Friends, hobbies, maybe a stray baby or dog or something, hot hook-ups, bad/good movies, no endless baseball games you don’t want to watch, no Trump-loving in-laws, two-hour Chunnel rides and your own baguette.
49. Sounds pretty good to me.
50. I mean, I love my husband, don’t get me wrong, but if something ever happens to him, you can come visit me in Greece.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com.