I get a lot of emails from people who feel burdened by a secret they’re keeping from a significant other. Often these secrets are about cheating, but not always. Sometimes they’re about applying for jobs in other cities or having been married before or having an STD. There have even been a few people who had secret children they hadn’t told their partners about. In my own social circle, I have a few friends who keep pretty innocuous secrets from their spouses, like taking secret days off from work to have a whole “me day” without feeling guilty about it (these are moms, obviously, who play hooky while their spouses are at work and their kids are at school or daycare). I’ve known people who have regular lunch dates with exes and don’t tell their current partners because they don’t want to deal with the jealousy.
Have you kept a secret from a significant other? Did you (or would you) ever share the secret? Why did/do you keep the secret?