Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

A bright future ahead?

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  • #880600 Reply
    avatarnomoremrniceguy
    Participant

    So I’ve been talking to this girl lately We met at this job I had heard ago (if you look in my history and see another thread same job different girl)

    We hit it off immediately talking to her was always great it got to the point where every time I was on break i prayed I’d see her but we worked total opposite hours so it was nearly impossible to ask her out she knew I had feelings for her though. Recently we reconnected on Facebook and she’s single once more ! We had more and more conversations and I started to remember why I fell for her…so then Valentine’s day came and I sent her a personalized e message I basically told her how i always felt back then when I saw her. She seemed moved by it. After a couple more conversations I actually did being up the idea of hanging out…suddenly we were talking about SPECIFIC SCENARIOS WHERE WE COULD HANG OUT!!!!! what kind of.movies does she like I mentioned a hangout I do weekly with friends and she started replying with emojis big smiles hearts and even a couple of these bad boys 😘

    And then

    You know what happened

    We still talk

    She still seems enamored with me

    Is she into me?.is she just being nice? Pitying me? If she is info me how do I keep her interested too we can hangout coming with excuses to talk to her is getting harder

    #880793 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    You didn’t ask her out. Where’s the part where you said, “would you like to do X with me next Friday night? Great!” You needed to make a plan and follow up.

    #880805 Reply
    avatarmellanthe
    Participant

    I agree.

    It sounds like you guys have hit it off – which is great. But it’s very easy for people to hit it off and then for things to go nowhere because nobody actually makes that move.

    It’s really easy for people to get the wrong end of the stick and not realise that you’ve actually made it, too. Hell, when I was younger I’ve been in scenarios where I didn’t think I was being asked out (or uh… asked to bed) by people whom I very much wanted to – because both of us were being chickens and hiding behind flirtation and hoping the other person would make their intentions more obvious. Sometimes it slowed things down until one of us worked up the guts to be more explicit about what we wanted and we got together in the end. But there were times where things just petered off because both of us assumed a lack of real interest in the other person beyond the chemistry and flirtation. You don’t want to miss the chance to even try because you both leave it just at that.

    I think that chatting and building chemistry and getting to know each other before you ask each other out is great – but it shouldn’t go on for a long time. By now she knows whether she feels chemistry with you, or not. It sounds like she was flirting back – which is a good sign! But If you leave it at vague flirtation for too long, she might assume you just like to flirt and don’t want anything meaningful with her specificially, and if she’s not interested she won’t be sure how to let you down gently, because you’re not techically even asking her out. Asking her out is scary, but if she says no, at least you have an answer.

    If you work together and get on there are plenty of excuses to talk to her – just as you’d be able to be friendly with anyone else. It feels more self-conscious when it’s someone you like.

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