Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

About to make a big decision…

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  • #1100553 Reply

    Doesn’t fall semester usually start in August? That’s 9 months away. 9 months seems like a decent amount of time to spend in one city before moving again.

    #1100557 Reply

    Well, I’m not sure where I got six months from, I guess I made that up on my own. I would still say moving to a city different then the one she plans to attend college in this fall(if she is)does seem like maybe not the greatest idea? I’m not saying it’s the worst but this is, I assume, an 18/19 year old with not many financial resources. I think there are a lot of options in between that seem like easier, feasible and maybe not based on a lot of hopes and if’s. Like moving to a city alone as an adult with a job, a car and a few random acquaintances is hard. Doing so at a younger age, without a car, without anyone there, during a pandemic could end unhappily. I’m not saying it can’t work.

    I’ve moved all over, guys. I’ve lived in ten different cities since college, across the country and back. It’s hard making friends in new places and I can’t imagine the further difficulties when you don’t have people you know, family help and a pandemic.

    #1100558 Reply

    I think I said 6 months because I was thinking, she’s going to need some time to get things into place for a move and find a job and then it could be February, right? And she has to move again in August? To me, not worth using all her savings unless she’s in actual danger at home. I’d go where I’ll be planning to spend 4 years at school and start building that work and social foundation.

    #1100561 Reply

    So I have needed to make friends through moves to new cities multiple times. Two of the times were for University, so there was already a good set of resources and people available to meet and get to know. I have friends from both those experiences still.

    I have also moved to two new cities/towns for work, one was in a rural area in Alberta (eventually moved to a bigger city), and again this past month (small town). Aside from my time in Grad school and the move this month, the rest were pre-COVID.

    When I moved to this current city I looked for volunteer work, joined some FB groups that did activities related to my own hobbies, and also connected with people at work. It has only been 2.5 weeks, but I have made 1 friend from work, 1 from the new volunteer organization I just joined (imagine I will continue making friends that way as the months go on), and plan to join a run group tomorrow after work.

    I used to use Meetup.com to join groups for hobbies, but that is debatable with COVID right now, fewer get togethers, and more hassle to coordinate, but it could be an option depending on the city and rate of vaccination.

    Best of luck! And be safe, still need to consider not everyone is vaccinated, be protective of your own health and your elderly parents as they are more vulnerable, and hopefully any places you work or events you join require vaccination passports or are outside.

    #1100569 Reply

    @Copa had great advice on making new friends. I’ve done much of the same thing when I’ve moved to new cities.

    I think Kate and anonymousse are right about moving. Especially if you’re looking at 6 to 9 months out moving again. That’s two deposits that you’d need within a year. I’d assume it’s hard to find a lease for that amount of time? Moving is expensive. I’d go to where you think you might be for a few years. Get a job and start meeting people. Establish yourself. Develop a routine. Oh, that’s the other thing. Anytime I’m between friends, or moved, I established a routine and that helped with not feeling so lonely until I made friends.

    And you’ll definitely have to put yourself out there. Ask people to hang out. Go for a coffee. Or a drink. Or a walk. Something. Come to think of it, a good friend I made in my early 30s… she was visiting a mutual friend and we were out together. Fast forward a couple of years later. Mutual friend moved. Other person was moving here. She DM’d me and said she was moving here and would I like to grab a drink. I said yes. It’s been seven or eight years now and we’re still friends.

    All of my other friends I made in my late 20s/early 30s moving to a new city and doing much of what Copa said helps.

Viewing 5 posts - 13 through 17 (of 17 total)
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