If you feel lonely, call your brother or anyone who you connect with that you miss. I’ve moved around a lot since I left home and I have some suggestions.

Yes, it does take effort, time and more continued effort to make a real friend. I read somewhere that it’s 90 hours minimum investment. You just have to keep trying, despite setbacks or negative experiences. That’s basically true of most things. Good things usually don’t come to you totally easily (sometimes they do and celebrate those times!) but look at the work of making a friend not as a hopeless endeavor, but more of a muscle you need to build. It’ll come. I know it’s really hard. And you’ll also have to work a new muscle called “not taking things personally,” when people cancel, totally stand you up, etc.

Volunteering can be a great way to meet people and give back to something you care about while getting involved in the community. Also try to go to open mic nights, or anything at all that strikes your interest. You never know. Good luck.

In your 20s and 30s you meet friends through:

Work
School (if you do grad school or take classes)
Sports leagues
Your partner if you have one, or you date
Church and/or volunteering

And then yeah, Meetup or a community center that offers activities and classes like idk cooking or art or wine tasting.

But if you’re struggling to make and keep connections at all because of mental health issue like anxiety or depression, or trauma, definitely use your health insurance to see a counselor and work through that.

I went from living with my early 20s boyfriend to moving back in with my parents, then eventually moved out on my own. Within I’d say six months of getting my first place, I got a job offer in my current city, which is in another state, and moved here totally alone. My first solo place, I was about an hour from my parents, but once I left the state, I no longer had the option of a relatively easy drive back to that comfort. It was definitely a weird, sometimes tough transition, but I grew to really like living alone.

Is getting a roommate an option? I was vehemently opposed to having one simply because I felt like living alone was a mark of success. In hindsight, this was really stupid logic. I was at least going into an office every day at this point in my life, so I got to be around people M-F notwithstanding the state of my social life. A roommate may be a good way to feel less alone and save money at the same time.

Things I did/learned when I was transitioning to my new city/state:
– I found a routine I liked
– I got comfortable doing things alone on days that I was completely solo. I explored my new city this way. Even being around other people will make you feel more connected than if you just sit home alone.
– I said yes to every invite that came my way and told myself I’d stay at least an hour at any of these events
– I joined Meet Up groups (for me that was book club and a social sports team), eventually joined a small/friendly group fitness gym, and volunteered
– I tried out new hobbies
– I learned that a lot of adults are a little lonely and many will say yes to plans if you take the initiative to ask

Good luck! I look back on my first couple years in this city with so much nostalgia. I know I romanticize it a bit — because yes, it was a lonelier time in my life — but I got to meet the version of myself who can learn to thrive outside of her comfort zone. I’m very proud of the life I’ve built for myself here.

I really enjoyed living alone too, but I had a pet, an office job, friends, and usually a boyfriend. It concerns me to think about someone going off to live on their own with a totally remote job and no existing friendships. That’s why I’m wondering what’s necessitating you moving out right now, and if you can delay that while you work on making some connections, maybe even looking around for a local job.