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Dear Wendy

Advice on freeloading adult brother and mother

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  • This topic has 19 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by avatarPhoebe.
Viewing 8 posts - 13 through 20 (of 20 total)
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  • #1009169 Reply

    Job #1 is to take a copy of the lease to a lawyer to determine your rights. If you violated the lease by having them there, the lawyer can help you work around that.

    If you did NOT violate the lease by having them there, then talk to the landlord. Explain the situation. Explain that you want them out, that you’re doing everything you can (by retaining a lawyer), and that you want him/her to know that there is a risk to the property because they are threatening damage. TALK TO THE LAWYER before you do this.

    You, of course, have to get away from these people. You did your duty — far beyond your duty, in fact. Do not under any circumstances allow either of them to live with you again. Oh, and get therapy.

    #1009170 Reply

    I’ve broken leases to move for work multiple times and other than paying a fee- normally like 1 1/2 months rent…I’ve never had a problem. I still have great rental history and references. Landlords are sometimes human and flexible. And he or she would probably rather let you out of the lease to spare the property further damage from your mother and brother.

    I think you should seriously consider all the options. Like breaking it early. Because waiting six months with your dysfunctional mother and brother trashing the place and your reputation is going to seriously be hell.

    #1009174 Reply

    No, breaking the lease early would be a terrible idea! You are right to do the six months thing. Ride it out. Give them notice now. You will truly be beyond reproach. Smart move.

    The keeping the car keys thing is long overdue. Stick to it.

    #1009175 Reply

    Either way you need to read through your lease thoroughly. Almost all of them have language stating what is and isn’t acceptable re: guests and others living in the space. It’s very possible there is a time limit on how long guests can stay and you’ve put yourself at risk of eviction and a bad reference by flouting that, and now it’s compounded by the fact that they’re threatening to do damage when the lease is up.

    At this point I’d shell out the cash to talk to a lawyer. If you are housing tenants illegally and they do damage to the house I’m concerned you’ll be on the hook for it. You also need to know what you’re in for if they contact your landlord and rat you out for letting them live there against the terms of your lease. Do you have renters insurance? If not I’d get a policy really soon.

    #1009177 Reply

    Yes! def. talk with a lawyer and talk with the police. Ask if there is a way you could install inside video cameras in the common areas of the home in case your mom does attempt to act on her threats? Yes, get renters insurance asap if you dont have it.

    I would find a new place, DO NOT TELL THEM THE ADDRESS, and slowly pack your belongings. When you start cleaning out the common areas, you might want to do it quickly and come up with some lie, like remodeling/redecorating – new furniture etc. Like maybe do this right before you leave.

    Your mom belongs on the streets. Fact! Regarding your brother, I would suggest finding a shelter that can provide 3 meals a day and a bed/shower at night that has case workers that can help him get on his feet if he is willing to accept that help and take him there. Do this on the day you are officially leaving that home. Let him know this is what you can do for him and offer to keep his belongings until he gets his own place but I wouldn’t tell him were you are living either. This might have you sleep better at night but If he refuses, let him walk.
    AND do not take your mom anywhere. Don’t offer any help.

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by avatarKarebear1813.
    • This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by avatarKarebear1813.
    #1009180 Reply

    I recommend talking to a lawyer. Six months is a long time and you need to be careful … especially since you would be the one paying for everything if they broke every single window and damaged the house. You need to be very careful as damages to the house would mess up your perfect rental history.

    #1009181 Reply

    Eeep if you do leave my goodness be SO careful. They could trash the place and you’ll be entirely on the hook for it as the lessee. Sounds like they’re already doing a pretty good job of trashing the place really. If you’re concerned about your rental record I’d start getting your ducks in a row about how you’re going to get out of there with your security deposit intact.

    #1009472 Reply

    Please let us know how it’s going. I really feel for you, as you’ve been trying to be a good person and they’re taking advantage.

    If you haven’t spoken with a lawyer already please do. And I’m pretty sure one will tell you to approach the police. If your family has threatened your property (or threatened to harm themselves) getting that on record is a good idea. Good luck.

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